Sense to Save » Wedding

Plan ahead for out-of-town weddings

Kacie — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 16:50:18 +0000

M has two wedding-related questions for me. I’ll answer the first now, and the second one about wedding gifts in an upcoming post:

Do any of you budget for future weddings (friends’ weddings, not your own)? I’m specifically thinking about ones that will require air travel, hotel, etc. Any tips are appreciated.

Thanks for your questions! I’ll do my best to answer them, and I hope readers will add their own ideas in the comments section.

Not many of my friends or family members are getting married in the near future. The last wedding I attended (that wasn’t my own) was in December 2006. The next one for us is in May (in Florida!), and as of now, that’s the last one we’ll be attending for some time, as far as I can tell.

I’ve written about my Florida trip plans (see links below), and while it’s looking to be cheaper than I first thought, it’s still going to be quite expensive for us. In fact, it’s probably going to be around 1/3 of the cost of our own wedding!

I think in a few years, more of my friends will be getting married, so it’s a good idea to plan ahead for those happy times so they won’t have a negative effect on our budget. Once our emergency fund is completed, we’ll start a separate savings sub-account, where we can earmark money for gifts in general, and also wedding travel.

I don’t know how much we’ll put in the general gifts/wedding travel fund just yet, but I’m guessing it’ll be somewhere around $25-50 per month or so until we’re up to about $1,000. Since we don’t have single/engaged friends in Pittsburgh, we’ll have to travel to the next wedding we attend–whenever that is. Dunno for sure on that, though.

If you sense that you’ll be attending some weddings in the future, it’s a good idea to start saving. How much should you sock away? Consider some costs of standard items I’ve listed below. There’s lots of room to be frugal here, of course.

And, if you know you’ll need to travel to attend someone’s wedding, the sooner you can start planning, the better it will be on your budget.

Costs many wedding guests can expect to incur:

Gift for the bride and groom. I’ll post on this soon! Stay tuned.
New outfit including shoes if the guest doesn’t have something appropriate. If you’re a recent college grad or tend to have a basic wash ‘n wear wardrobe like me, then you might not have something to wear. Look through your closet to be sure, and if you’ll need a new outfit, keep your eyes out for sales (the clearance rack is your friend!) as well as checking thrift stores for possibilities. Choose a classic outfit that will work for plenty of weddings or nicer events, of course. If you wait until the last minute, you’ll likely end up paying more, so start shopping well in advance.

If you’re traveling far enough that you’ll need to spend the night, you can also expect:

Transportation expenses. This can include gas money, train fare, bus fare, or airplane tickets. When you fly, you’ll also have to consider the costs of getting to and from an airport, which can include taxis, shuttle services, airport parking, and a rental car at your destination.
Food. Sure, you’d be eating whether you were home or away. But it’s still a cost to consider. Maybe you’re like me, and like to get a snack at the airport. Or maybe you’ll turn the whole event into a vacation, and might eat out at a few restaurants.
Lodging. Can you stay with friends or family? Either see if you can stay at their home, or if several friends/family are traveling to the wedding destination, perhaps you can get a group rate on a hotel room. If you’ll be in the area for more than a few days, look into renting a vacation home to keep costs down.

Whenever you fly, consider signing up for frequent flier programs, and use them for all of your travels. Perhaps eventually, you’ll be able to score a free flight–maybe to someone’s wedding.

The worst-case scenario: Don’t attend. Just send a gift with your warmest regards. If someone you’re not super-close to anymore is getting married and it’s absolutely not in your budget to travel to attend their wedding, really consider not going. Sure, it’s a bummer to miss out, but if you’re in debt and will have to go further into debt to attend, that’s something really worth weighing out.

Related:

Check out my posts on preparing for our Florida trip, including our flight and lodging.

And, check out all the posts I’ve written about lowering wedding costs.

Here’s a bunch of wedding-related posts, available on Family and Finances (Thanks to Mrs. Micah for posting the link on her blog).

(Photo credit: Aaron Bernstein, who took this at my wedding)

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Reader question: Saving money on wedding rings

Kacie — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 20:18:43 +0000

A question from a reader:

My question is if you could recommend frugal places or tips regarding ring buying. My fiancé and I both want simple white gold or platinum (him only) bands with no diamonds, no engraving. Thanks!

Thanks for the question!

I think my advice will be limited, so I really hope other readers will add their input.

Since you want something simple, I think you’ll easily be able to find something that suits you without costing a fortune.

Before you even set foot into a jewelry store, decide how much money you are comfortable spending on your wedding bands. If it’s $300 (or whatever) total, don’t let yourself exceed that.

Also, don’t forget to factor in sales tax. If you spent $300, that’s $21in sales tax at 7 percent, and $18 at 6 percent, for example.

I would suggest that both of you go to a brick & mortar jewelry store so that you and your fiance can determine your correct ring size. That should save resizing it in the future, hopefully.

And, if your fiance is anything like my husband, his wedding band is the first ring he’s ever worn. It’s a good idea for him (and you) to try on styles you like to see how it looks with your skintone, to make sure the size of the ring compared to the size of your hand looks good, and to make sure it’s comfortable.

At first, Shane was leaning toward a white gold ring, but changed his mind and decided he preferred yellow gold once he saw how it looked on him.

As for me, I’m a white gold-only gal.

Anyways…

Try reputable online retailers. GLBL guy had fantastic success with buying an engagement-style ring on Amazon.com.

Once you have had a chance to examine some rings up close, you can take your business online, if you prefer.

If you’re dead-set on buying rings in person, at least be sure to shop all of the fine jewelry retailers in your mall (or malls). Expect an extremely high markup on prices.

If you find something that’s absolutely perfect, ask to make a deal (even if it’s within your price range). Most jewelry store workers (I think) work on commission. As such, they probably do have some wiggle room on the price, though most people don’t ask.

You can see if they’ll give you X percent off if you buy both of the rings from him (let the sales clerk first name the percent off–it might be higher than you thought).

If that doesn’t work, ask if it will be going on sale soon. Then, come back when the ring is on sale, if you choose.

If there’s still no deal, and it’s a price higher than you’re willing to pay, try this: "I like this ring, but I’m only willing to spend $X.xx on it. Unless you can meet that price, I’m going to have to shop elsewhere."

If they can’t offer you a better deal, then walk away.

You can always come back if you really can’t find a better deal somewhere else, but chances are they are going to want to make a sale right then.

Avoid warranties or service plans, unless you can talk them into throwing it in for free. You probably won’t need any expensive service on a wedding band, and if you do, the out-of-pocket expense is usually less than the service plan anyway.

A wedding band doesn’t have to cost a lot, and it doesn’t have to be the most flashy thing you’ve ever seen. After all, it’s what the wedding band represents that matters.

Your turn, readers! What advice can you share?

Additional related posts:

Our wedding: The photography

Kacie — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 13:00:46 +0000

Wedding photography can cost a fortune. I once had a summer job at a photography place. Wedding packages were in the 4-digit price range, and often didn’t include every photo taken. Yikes!

Having great wedding photos is crucial. In the whirlwind of the day, you probably won’t be able to take in all of the action going on around you. Hopefully, your photographer can capture most of it for you.

If you go with a regular photo studio, see if you can negotiate the package to fit your needs. Will they allow you to have all of the digital files of the photos so you can make your own prints?

If you go with a freelance photographer, be sure you’ve seen his or her work. If you don’t know the photographer well, ask for references.

And: Sign a contract.

If you live near a major university, check to see if the school has a photography department. Some budding photographers might want to build their wedding portfolio, and they’ll often be able to give you a great rate.

Or, seek photographers at the campus newspaper and yearbook.

Since I have a journalism background, I knew I wanted my wedding photography to be more photojournalistic in style.

Be sure to discuss the specific types of shots you want taken before the big day.

I hired an extremely talented photographer from the paper/yearbook. Everything went well, and a few days later, he gave me all of my photos, burned to DVDs.

As part of our agreement, I made my own prints.

I saved thousands of dollars for going this route. The photographer made some money and added to his portfolio, and I got a great deal on my photos.

Above is a photo that’s one of my favorites. My husband says it looks classic–like it could have been in a magazine in years past.

Check out my dad, wiping a tear from his eye with his handkerchief. We were about to go up the stairs leading to the church sanctuary.

I saw the photos immediately before this shot. They were average–Dad and I were talking, he started to reach for his handkerchief, I turned to look at the girls… and this image is priceless.

Great photography means anticipating the moment and being ready to capture it in a partial second.

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Our wedding: Hair and makeup

Kacie — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 19:41:00 +0000

Having a great hairdo and makeup is important for a bride. She’s gotta look great for her groom, and don’t forget all of those pictures that will be taken!

I typically don’t wear much makeup, but that look just wouldn’t be right on my wedding day. I wanted to look great, but I knew my budget wouldn’t let me spend much on hair or makeup.

I mentioned to one of my friends (thanks, Rachel!) that I was considering going to get my hair done at a beauty school, since their rates for updos were affordable.

She told me that she has a friend who does hair very well. AND, said friend has a roommate that does makeup. Woo!

It turns out, they’re wonderful at it.

The hair stylist gave me a very excellent deal, including a trial hairdo and makeup application, and she did my hair on my wedding day AND the hair of my four bridesmaids.

As part of my gift to my bridesmaids, I paid for their hairdos.

What’s even cooler, is that she came to us. We all met in the church basement early in the morning on my wedding day, and she and her lovely assistants did our hair very quickly. It was really nice not having to drive to a salon.

And I’m glad I didn’t do my hair or makeup myself. For one, it would look terrible. And two, I was far too nervous and preoccupied to even try doing it myself. Leave it to the pros.

Some tips for getting lower-costing hair and makeup on your wedding day:

Ask around! Surely you have a friend who has a friend who’s neighbor does hair. Everyone does, whether you know it or not. You might find someone willing to do yours for a reasonable price.
Call the local beauty college and find out what they might charge, and if you can have a practice-run with the same stylist.
Call a moderate or high-end salon to get a price quote. Be polite, and then when you hang up, laugh at how much they wanted you to pay.
Always get a practice hairstyle. This way, your stylist won’t be rushed. She’ll see how your hair responds to the style, and be able to make adjustments as necessary. You’ll see how long the style holds, and you’ll have a sense for how long it will take to style.
For makeup, ask your hair stylist if she has any recommendations. Or maybe you have a cousin or friend who would love to help you out.

Pictured is me with my um…”little” sister. I was wearing flat shoes, she was wearing heels. But still, she’s a tiny bit taller than me. If you’re curious, I’m 5’10″.

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Our wedding: The guest list

Kacie — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 01:22:00 +0000

If you’re looking to save money on your wedding, one way to do it is to have a small guest list. Unfortunately, this is the least fun option. However, having a smallish guest list will keep costs down.

For example, you’ll have less invitations to buy, which means less postage to use.

You’ll need to print/buy fewer programs.

You’ll have to buy/make less favors for your guests.

You’ll be able to use smaller (and often more affordable) venues such as your church site and reception site. A ballroom that can fit 2,500 people will cost a lot more than a reception hall that can fit 300.

Most significantly, you’ll spend much less on food. That’s less cake and fewer meals.

I really wish we could have invited more friends to our wedding. I feel like I upset a few people, and left some feeling excluded. I hope that they realize this was not meant as a snub, but simply, we were getting married on a tight budget. And my husband has a massive family with more aunts, uncles and cousins than I can count.

Looking back, we could have skipped the meal and simply served cake, punch and a few small snacks. However, that would have meant we would have paid for the reception hall (the hall was free when we bought food from the caterer). I don’t know if people would have appreciated this as much. When we’re asking people to spend a large portion of their Saturday with us, the least we can do is feed them a late lunch/early dinner.

So, our guest list was at about 175 or so. About 130 came. Unfortunately, we hadn’t heard from about 50 people, and by the time we figured out they weren’t coming, it was too late to invite more friends. That’s how it goes, sometimes.

For those of you planning a wedding, do what you can to keep your guest list low. For those of you who will be invited to a wedding at any point in the rest of your life (probably everyone!) be sure to RSVP right away. Give the bride and groom an accurate head count. If you can’t make it, tell them!

That could mean they could invite someone else.

Our church could only hold 175 people comfortably, maybe a few more if people were sitting on each other’s laps.

If we had more money to work with, we definitely would have invited more guests. Sigh.

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Our wedding: The stationery

Kacie — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 17:54:00 +0000

Sending wedding invitations, creating programs, and thank-you cards can cost a ton of money. Some designer styles can cost $5-10 each–I’m not joking. Just check the bridal magazines. That would be fine if you planned to invite, oh, 10 guests. But anything more than that, and really, I think you’re throwing away your money.

I really lucked out in the stationery department, but even if you don’t get freebies, you can still get good deals on wedding stationery.

As it turns out, my husband’s sister had a huge stockpile of invitations and programs she didn’t need. They were the kind you print yourself.

To add our own touch to it (and possibly reduce the weight of the envelope, thereby reducing postage), we used a special hole punch stamp to cut out little hearts around the corners of the invitation and the reply cards.

It looked cute, I thought.

Printing our own free invites turned out to be an easy thing for us. I needed to replace my ink cartridge once–but that was no big deal.

Our programs were a bit too fussy for my liking. They looked good, but putting them together was…ugh! I had one or two boxes of programs free from my sister-in-law, but we needed more. Fortunately, Hobby Lobby had the same pattern. I bought remaining boxes during a 50% off wedding sale and spent about $15.

The programs were two sheets of paper laced together with a ribbon. Because I’m a champion procrastinator, these weren’t finished until after the rehearsal dinner. [A BIG thank-you to the wedding party and a few other friends who helped finish these off!]

Unless you absolutely adore the look, I’d say forget the ribbon and just have sturdy paper–folded or not. Or, be good and do it way in advance. Heh.

Finally, the thank-you cards. eBay all the way. Your thank-you cards do not have to match your other stationery, believe it or not. Guests will not remember. The will not match your invitation to your thank-you note. Really.

However, by a cool twist of luck, our cards did match. They had a similar heart pattern on the front, which went well with our invitations. Who knew?

Some final tips:

Be sure your final invitation package (all of the envelopes and paper) weigh less than 1 ounce. You really don’t want to spend twice the postage for having 1.1 oz. stuff, do ya? I took mine to the post office where they have a scale. Mine averaged .7 oz.
Don’t forget to budget for stamps. I spent $50 or so, maybe more.
Consider searching for pretty card stock at a craft store to design your own. You can use punch outs, ribbon–and whatever else you can think of–to personalize your invitations.
If you have pretty handwriting or know someone who does, you could hand-write the invitations, rather than use your printer.
Don’t put a lot of money into these. Save it for something else, like food. People remember food.

Additional related posts:

Our wedding: Accessories

Kacie — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 20:05:00 +0000

I didn’t want to spend much on things like my veil or shoes. I wanted my shoes to be flat and comfortable, since people probably wouldn’t be seeing them anyway. I found white satiny ballet flat slippers for $6.

I bought my veil on eBay for $17 including shipping. I now realize that I probably could have found one at Hobby Lobby for a few dollars less, and I’d suggest looking at the premade ones at craft stores first. Can you believe that veils can sell at bridal shops for $100+?

My little garter came from Hobby Lobby as well, during one of their 50 percent off sales. It was like a dollar or so.

My jewelry was my “something borrowed.” I wore my grandmother’s pearl earrings and necklace. Before those arrived, I wore borrowed diamond earrings so my ears would be pretty for pictures :)

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Our wedding: The flowers

Kacie — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 16:46:00 +0000

Who knew flowers could cost so much? My mom knew. She came to the flower shop with her checkbook and expecting the worst, which ended up costing about $415 or so.

I had a lovely bouquet of pink stargazer lilies, I think they’re called. I have no idea what happened to it after the wedding. It cost $100. Uh.

The alter flowers were a large, pretty arrangement of mostly lilies and roses. It got two uses, as we left it there for the church service on Sunday. $100?

The bridesmaids carried one or two stems of lilies tied together with a ribbon. They were $15 each, and $30 for the maid of honor’s, I think. $75?

Then, we had corsages and boutineers all around. The moms, the dads, the grandparents, the groomsmen and groom, ushers, the soloist, and maybe a few others.

That’s it! A lot of money for something that dies right away. If I had been able to keep track of my bouquet, I might have hung it to dry, but oh well. Someday, maybe I’ll just plant a garden of pink lilies.

To add a little decoration to the windows, I found rose bunches and vases at Hobby Lobby. I got the bunches for $3 each on sale, and the vases for a little over $1. If these had been real flowers, I think we would have paid at least a billion dollars. Or more likely, several hundred-$1,000 for 12 rose bouquets. Since these were out of the main line of sight, looked reasonably realistic, and were so cheap, I think it was worth it. We even put water in the vases! It was to add weight to them so they wouldn’t tip, but it also added to the realness. I plan to resell these on eBay.

The toss bouquet was also a fake. I made it with rose stems tied together with ribbon. I thought it was really pretty, and it cost $15.

Some brides choose to make their own flower arrangements and corsages. To me, it wasn’t worth the extra work or stress it would have caused me and my friends/family. I’m not that good at flower arranging, ya know?

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Our wedding: The wedding party

Kacie — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 16:28:00 +0000

The bridesmaids

Before I got engaged, I didn’t realize just how helpful the bridal party is. Though we weren’t all in the same city during the planning stages, my bridesmaids were so supportive and helpful throughout.

To honor my dear friends and sister, I wanted to let them choose their own dresses. I figured, they’re paying for it, they’re the ones that are wearing it…let’s make sure it’s something they like.

Two bridesmaids and I went to the gown shop and we chose a color that we all liked (and I hoped the other two would like, as well). Then, they chose a dress style made by the same designer. The fabrics were the same, and came from the same dye lot as well. Everyone looked like they belonged to the same bridal party, and everyone looked good. Prices ranged from $90 to $136 before tax, I believe.

The groomsmen

To outfit the men standing at my husband’s side, we opted to have them all wear black suits. They could wear one they already had, rent one, or buy one if they thought they’d get future use out of it. My husband bought his suit, and he’s already gotten three additional wears out of it.

I selected ties that went well with the bridesmaid’s dresses, and got one for the groom, groomsmen and our fathers.

Additional related posts:

Our wedding: The dress

Our wedding: The dress

Kacie — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 18:55:00 +0000

I’m guessing (but I can’t confirm this, of course) that most of my readers are already married. If you are, perhaps you can share your frugal wedding tips in the comments section. I’d like to write about some of the things we did to save money on our wedding. To spare you all from a ridiculously long post, I’m going to break this up into parts.

My husband and I were married on May 19, 2007. We got engaged on December 21, 2006, so if you do the math, you’ll see that we planned our wedding in about five months. The planning took place during our last semester in college. My husband was working two part-time jobs at the time, and I was working a lot at my beloved newspaper. It was a busy time.

We were very fortunate to have all of our parents contribute both financially and with the planning. [Thank you!!!] Still, my husband and I wanted to contribute as much as we possibly could.

The Dress
I went dress shopping by myself one afternoon just to get a sense of what was available. I thumbed through the racks and wasn’t happy with what I saw. The dresses weren’t that great, plus they were $500-$1,000+. That’s too much! The saleslady very kindly pointed me to the back room where they had sales.

I found two that I decided to try on. The first had a lace-up bodice in the back, but the front wasn’t that interesting. It was $250. Certainly doable. The second dress was simple, with a short train, beading and a neckline that I really liked. It fit almost perfectly before alterations. It was $99.

I had them hold the dress for a few days so I could bring in some people for a second opinion. It got the thumbs-up, and I bought that and the garment bag for a total of $120 including sales tax.

Alterations were minimal, but ended up costing $80. I spent another $50 to have it pressed right before the big day. While it’s possible I could have had this work done cheaper or done it myself, I was ridiculously busy and just wanted it done. Total cost for dress: $250.

Where is it now?

“What in the world am I going to do with an altered and worn wedding dress?” I asked myself. “I will never wear it again. I don’t want to sell it on eBay or at a consignment shop. I know! I’ll cut it to pieces,” I declared.

I cut the top of the dress off and put it into a shadow box so I could display it alongside wedding photos. I also put an extra wedding invitation in the box, with info photo-shopped out :).

The bottom of the dress is in a bag under my couch right now, but I plan to cut some of the decorative fabric and sew little handkerchiefs to give to all my daughters/granddaughters/etc.

I’ve heard some women will use the big poufy skirt as a decorative skirt for their baby bassinet.