I’m to the point where my belly is round enough that I think it’s obvious I’m with child and not just eating too many cookies…though I still haven’t been asked by strangers when I’m due, or what I’m having or any of those things.

When I catch my reflection, I’m surprised at how round my belly is. It isn’t that big yet — probably just a little bigger than I was at this point when I was growing a Johnny.

But I don’t feel big at all. I feel pretty normal.

A week or so ago, I did feel big and sorta achy and I knew I was about to grow some. I did, and I feel better!

It feels best to sit on an exercise ball or tailor-sit on the floor. These are good positions for me to sit in, because based on how my baby is moving, I think she is transverse right now. That’s sorta like laying in a hammock. Not a doable birthin’ position. She’s so active that I’m sure she’ll move head-down eventually, and I’ll do what I can to help her with that.

I have Braxton-Hicks contractions and have had them for at least a month. Love these! It’s exercise that I don’t even have to think about. It’s automated. And it helps me to better detect where the fundal height is, and based on what I know, I think I’m measuring right where I should be.

Too frequent B-H and I know to go to the bathroom, get a drink, or sit down for a little bit.

So yeah, the mid-second trimester is treating me well. And the whole thing is treating me well. I know that I should be thankful, and I am.

Sometime mid-September, I should be starting my Hypnobabies home study. I’ll be in the early third trimester at that point. The course is 6 weeks long and you’re supposed to keep on practicing until the birth, so many moms start around 25 or 27 or 30 weeks or so.

I’m just not really in the mood for that yet. I’m in no hurry to get this baby out. I am absolutely looking forward to meeting her and cuddling with a tiny newborn and seeing Johnny as a big brother…but. But I’m just enjoying this pregnancy bit too much. I don’t want to rush the next phase on.

Plus, I know what’s coming. I know that labor will be work. I know that newborns are demanding little things, and toddlers are too — but my toddler can tell me what he wants, feed himself a cracker, and play with cars or look at books without much help from me.

So maybe part of why I’m like, “oh, this birthin’ stuff can wait” is because I’m a little nervous about how upside-down life will be in December/early 2011. It’s going to be busy. I will be tired. I don’t wanna rush those things.

I know that I can handle it and I know it’s going to be ok. But still…yeah.

So I need to think about tiny newborn clothes and the expressions they make and how warm and cuddly they are. And how I get to be a mom to a little girl. And all the fun we’re going to have!

We still don’t have a name for this little girl. We’re back and forth on our top two choices, and we’re both unsure if either option will actually work. We don’t have middle names. But, we’ve got some time yet so hopefully we’ll work it out.

In a few weeks once I hit the third trimester, I’ll start drinking some of that yummy red raspberry leaf tea, which I’m convinced works wonders to strengthen the uterus and make it more efficient. And maybe around that time I’ll start to get motivated to get in the birthin’ mindset.

And on the way back, he was able to nap and didn’t fuss much. It was a completely different experience than we’ve had for previous trips where he’d scream inconsolably and wouldn’t sleep much. Whew.

Our first stop was to Shane’s brother’s house in Indianapolis to visit Shawn and Whitney. This was our first chance to see their house and it was really cute! While there, I was able to take some engagement portraits for them. Whitney was happy with them, so that’s all that matters. There were some technical problems with a lot of photos (white balance issues, exposure problems especially!) but she photoshopped some to make it better.

We got to see portions of Zionsville (adorable town!), and two parks. It was a quick visit, but nice. The weather was stupidly hot and humid and I whined a little too much about it. 100+ degree heat index? For real? Knock it off, Indiana.

Then, we headed south to Bloomington to see Shane’s parents.

Johnny was so excited to see his Papaw, whom he had just seen in Pittsburgh a few weeks prior. He seemed to still remember them which was nice!

We enjoyed some afternoons at some of the area’s parks. The weather cooled down some while we were there so it made it much nicer to be outside. Shane and I stole away to La Torre for a shredded beef burrito (I really want to know how they make their sauce! I could drink it.).

I was worried about keeping Johnny out of trouble, since Shane’s parents have so many antiques and stairs and all sorts of interesting things for a toddler to explore/break/hurt himself on. He’s old enough where he sort of gets what “don’t touch” means, but he didn’t really understand “don’t touch anything that doesn’t belong to you.” So he needed some chasing. But it was fine and nothing got broken (that I know of) and he only got a few standard Johnny bonks — bonks that could have happened anywhere. It was a nice visit!

Then we went north to see my parents in West Lafayette. We first stopped in Brownsburg to visit my grandma and great-grandma. I knew my great-grandma wasn’t doing well, but I didn’t know how poorly she was doing. When I saw her that Wednesday, she had been bed-bound for the past few days and wasn’t able to eat or drink anymore.

She was still awake at times and though her vision and hearing weren’t good, she could reach out and grab my hands.

I went back on Thursday with my mom and sister, basically to say good-bye. I read her some Psalms and some from the book of John. I didn’t know if she could hear everything I said, but I hoped she was comforted somewhat.

Back in Lafayette, Shane and I went to Little Mexico Too (spelled like that, I think). They have the best salsa. We also stopped by my old neighborhood and Johnny played at the playground. We tried to watch some airplanes flying around, but there was only one. Slow day.

While there, we also made a stop to the Columbian Park Zoo which has free admission. It’s a really tiny zoo and only has a few exhibits, but hey it’s free!

My great-grandma passed away early Sunday morning while we were in town. Shane really needed to get back to Pittsburgh for work, so he went without me and Johnny and we stayed so we could attend the visitation and funeral.

My great-grandma was 99 and almost a half. It was really great that I was able to know her and introduce her to my son a few times. Not many families get to have five-generation photos!

Johnny and I were at the visitation for about an hour and then went to my grandma’s house so he could nap. He hadn’t napped all day and the dude really needed to. So while he was asleep, I sat in the family room and read from my great-grandma’s Bible which was on an end table.

I’m finishing up the Bible in 90 Days reading plan, and that day I was reading 2 Corinthians.

The next day at her funeral, the minister said that my great-grandma had many favorite passages in the Bible, and one of them was 2 Corinthians chapter 5, which he read. I thought it was neat that I had just read that passage the day before, in her own Bible.

I have a lot of good memories of her and will miss her, but I know I’ll see her again.

My dad brought us back to Pittsburgh on Friday and I’m not sure when we’ll be back in the Hoosier state. Probably spring/summer 2011. Traveling with two little ones will be interesting!

His night light guy (a Tyke Light) broke, just like the first one did. But he doesn’t seem to mind. In fact I’ve checked on him before and he’s had it turned off. So maybe he likes the dark?

For the past four nights, we’ve done our short little nighttime routine, I put him in his bed and walk out of there. He’s wide awake. And he stays in bed and goes to sleep without further help.

What. The. Huh?

He’s matured a lot! That’s all I can come up with. He’s finally reached the point in his development where he is able to put himself to sleep.

He knows that I am still nearby and I will come if he needs me. Or, he’ll come find me (usually the case). Sometimes he will sleep all night in his bed and other times I will wake with him standing by my bed. I’ll either pull him into bed next to me and he goes right to sleep, or I walk him back to his bed and he goes to sleep in a few moments.

Now, he’s going to bed a lot later than I’d like. It’s usually between 9-10 p.m. But, Shane gets home sort of late most nights and by the time we finish dinner, it’s like 8. So if Johnny had a strict 8 p.m. bedtime, he wouldn’t get much daddy time. I think daddy time is more important.

Shane’s workload should chill out in November. Also in November? Daylight Saving time ends! So we’ll fall back an hour. A boy used to going to sleep at 9 will suddenly be tired at 8, but he can’t tell time. So he won’t care (hopefully).

We will try to work on earlier sleep before then anyway, but DST is my backup plan.

I know that our upcoming trip to see family is going to screw with his sleep. He may take a few steps backward, but I’m confident we’ll get him readjusted when we get back.

There were times when it took three hours to get him to sleep at night, only to have him wake up again in an hour. I wish I were exaggerating. I thought he’d never sleep well. So it’s really nice that he’s finally to the point where it doesn’t take much from me!

I have finished Proverbs, but I’m about a third of the way through Psalms, reading a few chapters each day. So I guess I’m not technically finished with the Old.

So anyway, this is probably the first time I’ve ever read the Old Testament. I’ve read much of it before — many of the stories and people were familiar to me. But I know there were plenty of books that I’d never read.

It was a hard read for me. There were books that went smoothly, but a lot of it was a challenge. The genealogy lists, the prophets, the people who would just plain not listen to God — it was hard! I think plowing through it at a superfast pace was so helpful though.

Next time, I will have more perspective. And I will know which areas I want to study in more depth.

I’m on Day 70 of the reading (of 88…there are 2 days for “grace” days to get to the 90 days) so really I should be done by the end of August.

I’ve read all but a couple of short books of the New Testament before and I know this will probably go smoothly. I love the writing style, the stories and most importantly, the good news!

After I finish, I will map out what I will study next and how I’ll go about it.

When I was pregnant with him, I thought, “I’d like to make it to 6 months and then we’ll see what happens.” And then when he was born and I was having initial trouble, I said, “I just want to make it through this week, and we’ll see what happens.”

Fortunately our problems went away.

By 6 months, nursing was so convenient that I had no interest in weaning, and he had no interest either. So I thought, “Let’s hit the AAP recommendation of 12 months.” I knew that if we did, I wouldn’t have to ever give him formula.

So his birthday came and went and people started to wonder when he’d get off the boob already. I wanted to just give it some time, because I knew neither of us were ready.

Almost immediately after I found out I was pregnant with his baby sister, I noticed a drastic drop in my milk supply. Johnny seemed to notice, too, and it seemed frustrating to him.

Due to hormonal changes, his initial latch just plain started to hurt. I couldn’t do anything about it — it just happens to some moms.

Though he didn’t quite seem emotionally ready to wean, I knew it was time. I didn’t want to be resentful of it all.

I stopped offering to nurse during our normal times (which, by 15-16 months, was just before bed, just before his naps, and usually when he first woke up). Sometimes during the day he’d nurse just because he wanted to, or if he fell and hurt himself and needed comfort.

I would try and distract him with a sippy of cow’s milk, and I’d hold him in the rocker and just cuddle. I made sure to have on a shirt that wasn’t easy for him to pull down. Sometimes he’d be fine with those substitutions, other times he made it known that he needed to nurse, and we did.

There was a 24-hour period where he didn’t nurse and I thought…wow, we’re done. But nope!

He cut 4 molars and all bets were off. He nursed a ton during that time, and I figured it was a temporary need so I indulged him. Plus around that time, he moved to a full-size bed since he could climb out of his crib (and hurt himself). That’s a pretty big change for a little guy.

After his teeth were in and he seemed a little more used to his new sleeping arrangement, I tried my “don’t offer, don’t refuse” strategy once more.

I really wanted to persist this time, simply because I was frustrated with the pain of the initial latch and I wanted to wean.

By now, he was 18 months old.

It worked fairly well, but there were times when I said “no” that he seemed all-out devastated. He’d look at me and ask, “Why?” I couldn’t explain it in a way that he would understand. So he cried and was so sad. It makes me sad to even think about it now.

So sometimes I nursed even when I didn’t want to, but not for long. We’d nurse for 5 minutes or so and then I’d give him a sippy cup and rock with him instead.

The last time he nursed was July 3, at 18.5 months. We were at a drive-in theater and we were watching Toy Story 3. He was getting really restless and rowdy and I wanted to keep watching, so I offered and he was like, “Yay!”

But that was it.

He does still ask to nurse sometimes. Last night, he said some long rambly sentence that went, “Mama, somethingsomethingsomething NURSE somethingsomething ok?” and he was pulling at my shirt. He didn’t seem sad, but he did make it known to me that he still remembers and if it’s an option to him, he’d like to take that option.

Poor guy!

I sorta laughed and he laughed too, and I tried to tell him that mama’s milk is all gone and that he is a big boy now, and then I read him a book. Cuz he likes books.

I don’t know if he will forget he ever nursed by the time his sister is born. We’ll see what happens!

But his latch wasn’t perfect, I later discovered. It was just a little off, and that caused excruciating pain. It didn’t always hurt, but there were times it hurt more than giving birth.

Ever hear of flat or inverted nipples? Yeah. I had one. Johnny’s nursing drew that out and now they are regular — but before that happened it hurt like whoa.

(I can’t believe I just told you that. TMI, much? But breastfeeding is important and if telling you this makes your own experience easier, than I can handle any bit of embarrassment that might come of this. Cuz it’s pretty common.).

I do think that was partly why he wasn’t getting a great latch early on.

Anyway.

Aside from other early-on engorgement, leaking (oh man, I could just THINK about Johnny around the time he needed to nurse, and drip-drip-drip!).

Also early on, my let-down was really fast. Too fast for him to really handle. So that was kinda messy.

While my body was still adjusting to Johnny’s nursing needs, I was producing too much low-fat milk and he wasn’t getting enough of the full-fat at the end. I figured out the problem because his poop was green and that can be one indication of that.

I made sure he finished nursing on one side, and then started him on that same side the next time so he’d get the higher-fat stuff.

Then there was the whole, “How do I nurse him around others without completely flashing everyone?” Kinda stressed me out, especially while he needed help with latching on.

I used a blanket or nursing cover initially, but then as my confidence grew I just was strategic about what I wore. I’d often wear a tank top (or a nursing tank) under everything so my belly would be covered, but I’d still be able to pull up my shirt. I was more self-conscious about my still-flabby belly hanging out than anything!

Sometimes I’d wear an oblong scarf. It was a fantastic nursing cover.

But really, using a nursing cover or blanket seems to call more attention to yourself. “Hi, I am nursing a baby now.” It’s handy if you want that to be known (like when I was at a family get-together. I wanted a little space).

I think eventually, I was able to latch and nurse without a cover and without drawing too much attention to myself. I don’t *think* I ever flashed anyone too badly, but if I did, oh well. I’m sure they can get over it.

After all, you see more cleavage and boobs on network TV or at a swimming pool than you do with most nursing moms.

No one ever said anything to me, and I’m glad. The law and common sense are on my side. Nursing moms shouldn’t be sent to the bathroom to nurse (ew!) or made to cover up with a blanket if they don’t want to. Most older babies (and by older, I mean just a few months old!) will usually protest pretty hard if you try to cover them up.

Other problems? During the two-foot snowstorm we had in February, I got self-diagnosed mastitis, which is an infection in the boob. I had a fever, there was a hard, warm lump, I couldn’t express milk to make it go away and I felt awful.

I really wanted to go to a clinic to get an antibiotic, it was that lousy of a feeling. And yes, there was two feet of snow outside. The roads hadn’t been plowed yet and I don’t think the walk-in clinic was actually open.

I used heat pads, took warm showers and nursed like crazy and wouldn’t you know it, but it went away! I could actually feel the lump dissolve and honestly within minutes my fever was gone. What a relief!

Some people think you should wean when the baby gets teeth. Not so. Johnny didn’t bite. You can’t really bite if you are nursing. If he’s bored and not actually nursing then I think you’re more likely to get bitten. I didn’t really have that issue, but also he didn’t get teeth until around his birthday (which is pretty late!) so I might have missed out on that.

I did have a few, “You’re still breastfeeding!?” comments. Some thought it was weird that I nursed him as long as I did. Some thought it was weird he didn’t take a bottle or pacifier. Whatever. It’s not weird! It’s what worked for us.

Lastly, almost immediately after I became pregnant, my milk supply really tanked. He wasn’t nursing much at that point anyway (around 2-3 times per day or so, if that) and it just wasn’t enough to keep my supply going. That caused frustration with us both.

Nursing started to hurt once again. He was clamping down with the initial latch, and that hurt. He was frustrated that there wasn’t much milk. I was frustrated at it all. It was time to wean.

He was nutritionally ready, though he would have still benefited from extended nursing. He was sort of emotionally ready, though sometimes telling him “no” would result in the most devastated look and cry.

But it was time. Next up — our weaning experience.

The more I researched, the more I knew we had to make it work. Here’s a bunch of good reasons right here: http://www.promom.org/101/ (again, sorry I can’t hyperlink).

For me, I knew that it would be more convenient, I would recover from birth easier, I’d lose the baby weight faster, and I’d lower my own risks of certain cancers — just to name a few. Johnny would be protected against numerous diseases, he’d be less likely to get sick (and quicker to recover if he did), and much more.

That seems to be true. He’s never had an ear infection. He’s never had to take a prescription med (except for a prescription diaper cream). At his 18-month check-up, the pediatrician was impressed that he’d never had an antibiotic.

His one cold was just a runny nose and general cruddy feeling, and it was over in a few days. Looking back, it could have been teething-related but I don’t know for sure.

Last fall, we were exposed to two families who had H1N1. We didn’t get sick. My own immune system might have been working harder since I was nursing.

He’s a healthy guy and I want to credit part of that to breastfeeding.

The health benefits are great, but there are others.

Like I said, it’s cheap! I had to eat a little more per day than I otherwise would have, so there is probably an expense with that. But minimal. I didn’t have to buy bottles or bottle gear. Formula is pricey. I didn’t buy a pump. I got a manual one from a friend (which I used just once — ugh) and I borrowed an electric for a time (also didn’t like it). Not sure I could hack it if I had to pump often.

It was so incredibly convenient to just pull him onto my lap or lay down next to him or whatever, adjust my shirt and nurse. Once he figured out how to latch without my help, I got to be really lazy with it. It’s nice to have that built-in relaxation time several times per day!

I didn’t have any bottles to make, which probably takes a little bit of time. A screaming baby wouldn’t likely appreciate those extra moments when they want fed NOW.

At night, I didn’t have to completely wake up. I could just pull him into bed with me or just roll over and go back to sleep immediately. (Side note — co-sleeping must be done safely. When he was really little, I made sure to sit up and stay more awake to keep him safe. But when he was bigger, I knew that I wouldn’t smoosh him.)

Some people think it would be more convenient to pump milk so someone else could give him a bottle. For me, I didn’t think so. It would be more work for me to pump than it would be to just feed him myself. I didn’t feel the need to have a “break” from him. I could leave him with Shane and go run errands or something and come back later to feed him. Not so bad.

Practicing “ecological breastfeeding,” I didn’t have a post-partum period until he was 14 months old. Lemme tell you, it’s nice to go almost 2 years without a period! And yep — if you’re doing math then you might have figured that I only had one period between Johnny’s birth and getting pregnant with this little girl. It’s nice not to have to deal with that, but it also means I’m less likely to be anemic. And I’m also less at risk for other cancers because of it.

Especially once he became mobile (and that means falling down a lot!), nursing was so handy. He’d fall, I’d quickly let him latch and he’d be over his injury in no time. Much faster than any other remedy I could come up with. Not only the physical closeness of nursing is comforting to the baby, but the milk is healing for them, too.

I know some sleep experts caution against nursing a baby to sleep, but it worked for us. He’d conk out and I’d be pretty sleepy myself. Win-win.

There were so many benefits to breastfeeding that I discovered along the way. I’m really thankful for being given the opportunity, and I’m thankful for God’s brilliant design.

It wasn’t always easy, though. Next up — challenges I dealt with along the way.

We’re having a hard time with middle names, though! I’d like a name that isn’t EVERY GIRL’S middle name. They are really nice names and they usually do work well as middle names, but I just would like something a little bit different.

Uncommon, harder-to-spell names are fine.

I think a 1 or 3-syllable name would probably sound best, or perhaps a 2-syllable iambic name.

I know actually telling you our name choices would help…but what’s the fun in that? Any ideas?

With him, I didn’t really start gaining weight until toward the third trimester. It will come!

I got to ask a few questions about my previous birth and the one that’s coming up:

First, the Cervidil I had to augment my labor with Johnny supposedly made my contractions more frequent and more intense than they would have been otherwise. I did notice they were frequent!

Then, the magnesium sulfate I had for the pre-ecclampsia worked to relax my muscles and make it that much harder to have effective contractions, and possibly to push.

The combination of the two drugs likely made my labor much harder than it would have been otherwise. I did notice that once the IV of mag sulf. started, I was zapped of my energy and it was just hard to get comfortable. Plus, I was stuck in the bed.

And I got through it anyway! So this time will be even better.

As far as my birthing requests go…

She said I didn’t HAVE to wear the hospital gown, that there wasn’t any rule saying I needed to. I just needed to make sure they had access to me and stuff. Good.

The heplock/IV won’t be needed unless I need any type of drug (of course) including an antibiotic if I am positive for Group B Strep. She said they don’t do the Hibiclens instead of an antibiotic. Hmm. I need to think more about this one. I was negative with Johnny but it doesn’t mean I won’t be this time. For more interesting things on Group B Strep, read here: http://enjoybirth.wordpress.com/2010/07/25/group-b-strep-what-are-your-options/ . (Sorry I can’t hyperlink…this blog’s settings are doing weird things).

For eating/drinking — she said just bring some stuff and don’t ask/don’t tell if I’m eating or drinking . Haha. She said especially since I would decline the IV, I would need to keep hydrated.

She said the labor nurses sort of self-select and I may get a nurse that is friendly to natural childbirth, or I might not. It’s sort of the luck of the draw and might depend on how busy it is that night. I will just keep on praying for a nurse that will put up with me!

Lastly, she said she’s seen good things from moms who use Hypnobabies/Hypnobirthing. She didn’t seem to know the difference between the two, but when I said the Hypnobabies has CDs, that ringed a bell for her. She said the moms seem much more relaxed. Cool.

I’m feeling a tiny bit better about another hospital birth but there’s still some anxiety. It’ll be ok, though!

Oh, and I’m already feeling the Braxton-Hicks contractions. I love these! I think of them as my uterus getting some exercise (cuz it is). As long as they aren’t too frequent, we’re good. Plus, once I actually start my Hypnobabies course, I can use each one as a reminder to practice my techniques.

But, I must have waited too long. They are at capacity for December due-date mothers. I am #3 on the waiting list. Phooey!

I realized that all of my birthing preferences (previous post) were standard procedure at the birth center. That would be much less stress on me and Shane!

I have a prenatal appointment with my original midwife group tomorrow and I will hopefully have time to discuss all of my preferences. I hope they will have a favorable reaction to all of them.

Still don’t want a home birth, and there are no other birth centers around. Oh well — we can make it work!