Dear Baby,

I saw you today! I certainly wasn’t expecting to, but your daddy and I saw you and your little heart beating away at 174 beats per minute. Why? Well, because you gave me quite a scare earlier this morning.

We were getting ready for church, when suddenly I felt like, “I need to sit on the toilet.” Out gushed quite a bit of bright red blood. I was terrified.

I thought you were dying.

I sat there for a minute, just praying, “God please don’t take this baby,” and trying to figure out what to do. Shane and I grabbed two of our baby books to see what it said about unexplained bleeding, and decided to call our on-call doctor’s pager. The OB (not ours) called us back within a few minutes and suggested we could wait a few days to see how I was, or go to the emergency room and have an ultrasound.

Needless to say, we opted to visit the emergency room.

By that time, the bleeding had stopped, and most of the cramping had gone away. But still, I was so worried about what was happening.

Everyone at the hospital that we encountered was incredibly nice. I had some vials of blood drawn. Turns out, I have type AB+ blood. Good to know. That means that I’m a universal recipient if I ever need someone’s blood. Works for me. We also found out that my HCG counts were at 115,000, which is good.

Later on, I had an ultrasound. The technician put the little wand thing on my stomach, and almost instantly, we saw you and your heart beating. Such a beautiful, welcome sight! As you might imagine, it made me cry.

You’re about the size you’re supposed to be, and your little bubble of an amniotic sac was looking good as well. She couldn’t see any pockets of blood, which is good. As far as the doctors can tell, everything is ok for now.

So, whatever caused this to happen, please don’t do it again! I know you’re doing your best to grow and thrive, and I’m doing my best to keep you where you’re supposed to be for another 30 weeks or so. Even though you scared the living daylights out of me, it was so neat to see you, and to see your heart beating, and to know that you’re ok. Oh, and there’s just one of you in there–that’s also nice to know.

Love,

Mama

May 8, 2008

Dear Baby,

You’re growing like a little champion. Maybe that’s why I’m sooo exhausted lately. It’s like all I can do to stay awake anymore. If I’m not asleep, then I’m lounging in a comfortable almost-asleep position.

I know you’re rapidly developing, and are pulling nutrients and energy straight from my body so you can grow. But, I didn’t know it would zap me so much! If I think I’m so tired now, what in the world am I going to do when you actually get here? Eep.

I’m trying to eat regularly, with the goal of always having at least a little something on my stomach. I don’t like feeling famished and exhausted at the same time, so if I can at least be fed, that’s a good thing.

I’m really glad that I can take it easy, since you’re really giving me no choice. I’m glad that I work from the home, and my freelance work can be completed whenever. If I had to work 9-5 somewhere right now, I think I would explode. Or, fall asleep at the wheel :-\.

Ladies who have been there, done that, have told me that the tiredness does go away by the second trimester or so. That’s about six more weeks for me, around the first official day of summer. Can’t wait for that!

Love,

Mama

Dear Baby,

April 24, 2008 was the day that changed my life. It was the day that I found out you were growing inside me! I wasn’t expecting you’d be there–in fact, I felt as if my “monthly visitor” was imminent, even though she was a tad late. But, I had a nagging suspicion, and thought I’d take a test to be sure.

I couldn’t tell if the first test I took had two lines, or if it was my imagination. I hurried to the store, bought another test, and tried again. Sure enough, yep, you were there!

For the first few weeks of your development, you were growing, and I had absolutely no idea.

But God knew. He knew you were there. He put you there. In fact, the Bible says He knew you before you were even created.

He knows your name, what you’ll look like, what your personality will be like, and even how many hairs are growing on your head. He knows your children’s children’s children! Pretty incredible.

Before any human knew of your existence, you were loved. Now that your parents know about you, we love you, too. You have an entire family praying for you–a family that can’t wait to meet you and love you.

I can’t wait to meet you either–though I’m doing my best to be patient. You know what? I’ve never ever been excited for winter to come. I don’t like the cold or snow. But this year will be different. If all goes well, we expect to meet you around the end of December or early January. I couldn’t think of a better Christmas gift!

Love,

Mama