I hope this nursing photo doesn’t offend
In light of the recent Target nurse-in stuff, and the people of the internet who say it is immodest for a mom to nurse her child anywhere except at home, in a bathroom, in a dressing room…I’ve gotta ask. Does this picture offend you?
I hope not. You see 3-month-old Johnny’s bald little head. You see me holding him. I am nursing. Wearing a nursing tank underneath my shirt, and my scarf is helping as an extra cover. Clearly I’m comfortable with this photo, seeing as I am sharing this photo. But are other people uncomfortable with it?
If so, I’m wondering if people are uncomfortable with the idea of breastfeeing in general — not if they can see a mother’s bare boob.
To those who suggest a nursing baby could just take a bottle: Not all of them are physically able. First, there’s a prime time for a baby to be introduced to the bottle, and if they miss it, it becomes much harder for the baby to learn how. I missed the window with both kids.
Secondly, some children have physical difficulties with bottles. Vivienne was born with a moderate-strong tongue-tie. Nursing was difficult for her, but she quickly adapted. But, she wasn’t able to take a bottle. Babies do a different motion from bottle to breast, and she couldn’t get a bottle to work. She had tongue-tie surgery at 3 months but by that point it was too late for her to learn how to take it. Even at 12m, she cannot do a bottle but we are working with her to take a sippy cup.
Also, the girl has no teeth. She eats some solids and baby mush, but lots of her nutrition still comes from me.
I’m not about to just stay hidden and indoors out of the public until she no longer nurses. I think that’s reasonable, right?
At the same time, know that I DO take care to not flash anyone while I’m nursing. If it’s a crowded area and I know she’ll be really distractable, I’ll go to a quieter area. In cooler weather, I usually have a scarf and that can help as a cover. I always wear a nursing tank to keep my belly covered. And I try to position my body so that no one will see when she latches or unlatches.
I’d really prefer to not nurse in a public restroom. It’s impractical (no chairs…and I am NOT sitting on a toilet to nurse!). A dressing room, sure. Especially if I’m with my 3-year-old and want to keep him corralled.
But if I also want to just sit on the floor in the women’s clothing section at Target and nurse real quick, I’m gunna. The law is on my side. I’ll try hard not to flash you, but give me a little space and don’t stare at my boob. Feel free to make eye contact with me, though. You can talk to me, too. I’m not usually uncomfortable, though I recognize that many people aren’t comfortable with nursing mothers.
It’s my hope that by the time my daughter is a mother, nursing moms will be everywhere and it won’t cause a second look because it’s so common.
If you still do not like the thought of nursing mothers, consider the benefit to you. Yes, YOU have a benefit when mothers breastfeed their children. Healthcare costs go down. Way down. Mothers and babies are healthier. There’s about a thousand other benefits.
1.5 MILLION babies die each year because they are not breastfed. If a mom felt more comfortable nursing around others, that would likely encourage her to breastfeed in the first place, and nurse for a longer stretch of time. 1.5 million deaths is more than the amount of people who lived in the city of Indianapolis.
Most of these deaths are worldwide, but still, 911 babies in the United States die each year because they weren’t breastfed. That could be your sister’s baby. Your friend’s. Your neighbor’s. YOUR baby. What if those babies’ mothers had the support they needed, not just from medical breastfeeding resources but from the general public? What if they received the message that breastfeeding is encouraged, and not just behind closed doors?
Between my children, I’ve been breastfeeding for 2.5 years. My own risk of several types of cancers has dramatically dropped simply because I’m nursing. My own children’s risk of various cancers and diseases are down. Put in another way, if I used formula for 2.5 years, my risk of cancer would go UP. Their risk of cancer and other illness would also increase.
It’s time the American people as a whole say, “enough!” Enough with the babies dying. Enough with mothers having no support when they want to breastfeed. Enough with mothers being shamed into hiding.
Related: See this fabulous post about the nurse-in controversy.
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Thanks so much for posting this and the link to Becky’s blog. The more people know about breastfeeding, hopefully, the more open their minds will be to nursing mamas out and about.
The “911 US babies die each year from not breastfeeding” statistic is staggering to me. Over 9 years, 32 babies died in drop side cribs and prompted a recall- that’s less than 4 per year. Slings were recalled because 2 babies died. One baby may or may not have died from tainted formula, and the brand was pulled from shelves. Nine hundred and eleven is a lot, lot more. Why, why, why is the medical community not doing more to get correct information out there and save these lives? Argh.
I nurse in public without a cover. I answer kids’ questions when they ask what the baby’s doing. I want to do my part to make breastfeeding the most normal thing in the world, and show it’s not something to be hidden or ashamed of. It’s the healthiest thing I can do for my baby!
Kacie, I’m extremely offended by your breastfeeding. It makes me especially uncomfortable when you breastfeed in front of me while I’m trying to breastfeed my baby.
I remember that day we first got together Renee at that Panera. I nursed Johnny and you nursed Roanin and I felt so comfortable because you were with me!
Beautiful post Kacie! Thank you!
Wow! I didn’t know those numbers were so high…though I nursed my son til the day after his 2nd birthday and hope to nurse my next one for at least a year…two years was a LONG time and I was ready for it to be over with. But I love knowing that due to that he’s much healthier and I’ll be too.
He was born just days before a huge tainted formula scandel broke out here in China and it was terrible to see how many babies died or have serious complications due to that. And despite that, my sis-in-law decided that nursing was “too troublesome” and gave her son formula when he was born 8 months later. He’s been sick countless times, had IVs at least three times, has a terrible appetite and still won’t go to sleep, at nearly 3, without a bottle of formula.
But the women here who do breastfeed are not really modest at all. I wish there were more discreet.
I definitely appreciate your writing this! I nurse in public because, well, my baby is DEMANDING!! And he’s just not gonna relent until he eats. Like you, I am not going to nurse in the bathroom unless there’s a cushy couch in there. (Thank you, Belk’s, for yours!)
Have you seen the “pie chart” on Pinterest for why women nurse in public? It’s 100% because the baby is hungry/fussy … and NOT because we are trying to embarrass you, show off our chest, or making a point! I swear!
I wish we could de-sexualize it and get over our American crazyness. People nurse. For years. All over the world. It’s the most natural thing imaginable.