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A little surgery

Vivienne had a little surgery this morning. It went well!

She had moderate tongue-tie, to the point where pediatricians thought it would give her speech problems. The pediatrician who saw her at the hospital when she was born, the lactation consultant, and two of the three pediatricians who saw her within our practice all wanted me to have her evaluated by a specialist.

I held off a little because she was nursing fine and growing extremely well, but after they kept mentioning it at the pediatrician’s office, I went ahead and made an appointment with a pediatric ear/nose/throat doctor.

He rated her as “moderate” on a scale from mild to moderate to severe, and he explained all the benefits and risks and what to expect.

They used general anesthesia (via a gas) to knock her out and cauterized the frenulum (the tongue-tie) so that she didn’t need stitches and bleeding was minimal.

The doctor told me it took about a minute to do, but there was a little more time just getting her all set up in the OR.

The hardest part for both of us was the fasting before surgery. Since she’s breastfed, she had a better deal than if she were formula fed. She could nurse until 3:30 a.m., and then have pedialyte or water until 5:30 a.m., with us needing to arrive at the hospital at 7:30. I don’t think she was actually in the OR until 8:45 or so.

If she was formula fed, she’d have to fast even longer since it takes longer to digest apparently.

So I set my alarm for 3:15ish for her to have her first scheduled feeding of her life. She woke again around 5:30 or so and I gave her some water via an eye dropper. She gags when we try to give her a bottle, so I figured this would work better, and it did.

Now that she has her tongue-tie “released” as the doc put it, we might try to give her a bottle and see what happens. I’m not holding my breath — I just would like her to be able to take a bottle if needed.

She’s still pretty upset if we try and give her a pacifier.

Anyway, I’m glad this is finally over and I’m glad it went well. I feel so fortunate that we were there for such a minor thing. So many other children have more serious health issues. And I’m fortunate that even though Vivienne had to miss a meal or two, she normally has the ability to nurse as she needs to. There are too many children in this world who miss meals because of poverty. Heck, one child missing a meal is one child too many.

After-baby body

(Um, important typo I caught — below I said, “I will weigh in the 120s again.” I really meant I will PROBABLY NOT weigh in the 120s again. Big difference, sorry!)

During one of my solo shopping trips to the grocery store, I spotted one of the Kardashian sisters on the cover of a magazine (btw, I still don’t get why they are famous.). She was holding her newborn and her body looked fantastic.

I grumbled a little, since my ‘fat jeans’ still fit me just fine.

And then I saw in another magazine that the image was doctored. Substantially. And her post-baby body looked a lot like mine did.

POOH ON YOU, stinky magazine, for making a newly postpartum mother feel fat and gross!

My body may never fit into my skinny jeans again. My shape will never be the same as it was before I had children. And this is ok with me.

My body has borne and nourished two human beings. It’s close to three years now that my body has, without break, been pregnant, breastfeeding, or both. It’ll likely hit four years if Vivienne nurses as long as Johnny did.

My hips are wider than they were because they had to shift to accommodate their passage into the world. The hips might shrink up a little still, but who knows?

The extra fat stores within my body are a safeguard to make sure I can continue to produce enough milk to feed my baby. She’s growing well, that’s for sure!

I never did lose the last 5 lbs. after Johnny was born, but that could be because I was still breastfeeding when I got pregnant again. Maybe the last bits of weight will come off when I’m not pregnant or nursing anyone.

But maybe those pounds are mine, here to stay.

Ya know what? I think my children are absolutely worth the sacrifices my body has had to make. It’s a small thing, really. My body is hardworking and it is being used for its intended purpose. How can I complain?

That’s not to say that I don’t want to exercise or eat right. Because I do. I do want to be physically fit. I’d like for it to be for purely health reasons, but a small portion of me still wants to fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans because there’s a little bit of vanity still hanging on. I don’t like it, but I’m just being honest here.

About a decade ago, I was incredibly fit. I was on the cross-country and track teams in my high school, and we had practice after school for several hours, and often meets on Saturdays. One semester, I even took weight training class as a part of my school day.

I ran sub-6:00 miles. I competed 4 miles on the track on several occasions — 4x800m relay, 1600m run, 800m run, 3200m run. And I’d place in all events if I was really on my game (and if our competition wasn’t).

I was something like 120-125 lbs. and I could bench press my body weight.

I was fit.

Today, I bench press children. And if I had to run a mile, I’d be lucky if I could even make it without walking. Hard to say since I haven’t tried it in so long.

I will probably never weigh in the 120s again. I will probably never run a sub-6 mile. I don’t have time to train for something like that, even if I could physically accomplish it.

But my body has birthed two children and it continues to nourish one. I’ll take that over fast times on the track any day.

A Facebook break

I’ve been thinking about doing this for awhile, and finally deactivated my Facebook account. It’s temporary! But I wanted to just take a step back from the constant updates and links and social networking.

I had realized that I spent way too much time on Facebook, either online or peeking at updates on my iPod.

So now that a few friends have had their babies, I thought this would be a good time to take a break. I don’t know how long, for sure, but since today is Ash Wednesday I could go ahead and make this something to do throughout Lent. Instead of Facebooking, I could spend time with family, pray, or read .

Thanks to those of you who emailed or texted me to find out if I was ok. I didn’t mean to fall off the planet like that…there’s no real way to be like, “Hi, I’m leaving FB.” *Deactivate* and have you still see the message.

Ashley is also taking a FB break. Kbye!