Nov 05 2010

Worries

Sometimes putting your worries to words helps them become less worrisome. So here goes.

If you read my last post on Hypnobabies, you saw that one of the tracks we start listening to that week is to help us clear our fears pertaining to birth and pregnancy and beyond.

I’m not afraid of giving birth. I sort of know what to expect (and I expect it won’t be the exact same as it was last time, anyway). I know that it will be intense, and I welcome that. And I know it will mean I’ll finally get to meet my daughter!

But I am worried about a few aspects of it all.

– That I’ll have a bad tear (again)
– That I’ll develop pre-ecclampsia (again)
– How I’ll know when to head into the birth center. We’ll take Johnny with us, and from there my friend will be able to pick him up. I don’t want to be at the birth center for too long, but I don’t want to show up during transition, either. I don’t want to freak poor Johnny out! He needs to know that mama is ok.
– How Johnny will react to having a new baby in the house. I think he will like her and will be interested in her, but he might not like/not understand that sometimes I will need to hold the baby and not him at that moment. I hope he takes it well!
– How I’ll adjust to having two small children. The change from zero to one child was HUGE. Biggest change of my life by far. I’ve heard that going from one to two children isn’t as earth-shattering. I am nervous about how we’ll get through those first three months. Winter, please be kind to us this year.

Johnny still wants carried when he can get away with it, and I’m really running out of space for him. Can’t put him on my hip because it throws my balance and my back out too much. Can only hold him against my chest up high for a short time. And I really don’t think I’ll be able to have the baby in my sling and him in my arms. The dude is 30+ lbs. I’m only so strong.

He is napping pretty well and sleeping well right now, thank goodness. I hope that will continue after she’s born. And I’m hoping that she will be an easy baby for me. Johnny was not. At all.

I’m trying to enjoy the last few weeks of being a mom to an only child. I really hope we can make a relatively smooth transition to becoming a family of four!



2 Responses to “Worries”

  1. I’m positive that in your situation, I’d have the exact same worries. But remember (and I KNOW this is very hard), that worrying accomplishes nothing, and can cause strain on your body that can exacerbate and cause bad things. No matter what, you’re gonna give birth to your daughter. And yeah, 99% of it is out of your control. But you’re SO prepared! Of all the pregnant ladies I’ve known and talked to about it, you’re by far the most prepared and, in my mind, the most capable of dealing with things that could happen. I know you’ll do beautifully.

  2. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Bethany! I know it won’t be as bad as I think. This time around, I think I’m more aware of what will happen and what could possibly go wrong, and I’m like….eep!

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