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On weaning

I am so thankful for the 18 months he was nursing. It helped his health tremendously, I had numerous benefits, and it was a nice bonding experience for us both.

When I was pregnant with him, I thought, “I’d like to make it to 6 months and then we’ll see what happens.” And then when he was born and I was having initial trouble, I said, “I just want to make it through this week, and we’ll see what happens.”

Fortunately our problems went away.

By 6 months, nursing was so convenient that I had no interest in weaning, and he had no interest either. So I thought, “Let’s hit the AAP recommendation of 12 months.” I knew that if we did, I wouldn’t have to ever give him formula.

So his birthday came and went and people started to wonder when he’d get off the boob already. I wanted to just give it some time, because I knew neither of us were ready.

Almost immediately after I found out I was pregnant with his baby sister, I noticed a drastic drop in my milk supply. Johnny seemed to notice, too, and it seemed frustrating to him.

Due to hormonal changes, his initial latch just plain started to hurt. I couldn’t do anything about it — it just happens to some moms.

Though he didn’t quite seem emotionally ready to wean, I knew it was time. I didn’t want to be resentful of it all.

I stopped offering to nurse during our normal times (which, by 15-16 months, was just before bed, just before his naps, and usually when he first woke up). Sometimes during the day he’d nurse just because he wanted to, or if he fell and hurt himself and needed comfort.

I would try and distract him with a sippy of cow’s milk, and I’d hold him in the rocker and just cuddle. I made sure to have on a shirt that wasn’t easy for him to pull down. Sometimes he’d be fine with those substitutions, other times he made it known that he needed to nurse, and we did.

There was a 24-hour period where he didn’t nurse and I thought…wow, we’re done. But nope!

He cut 4 molars and all bets were off. He nursed a ton during that time, and I figured it was a temporary need so I indulged him. Plus around that time, he moved to a full-size bed since he could climb out of his crib (and hurt himself). That’s a pretty big change for a little guy.

After his teeth were in and he seemed a little more used to his new sleeping arrangement, I tried my “don’t offer, don’t refuse” strategy once more.

I really wanted to persist this time, simply because I was frustrated with the pain of the initial latch and I wanted to wean.

By now, he was 18 months old.

It worked fairly well, but there were times when I said “no” that he seemed all-out devastated. He’d look at me and ask, “Why?” I couldn’t explain it in a way that he would understand. So he cried and was so sad. It makes me sad to even think about it now.

So sometimes I nursed even when I didn’t want to, but not for long. We’d nurse for 5 minutes or so and then I’d give him a sippy cup and rock with him instead.

The last time he nursed was July 3, at 18.5 months. We were at a drive-in theater and we were watching Toy Story 3. He was getting really restless and rowdy and I wanted to keep watching, so I offered and he was like, “Yay!”

But that was it.

He does still ask to nurse sometimes. Last night, he said some long rambly sentence that went, “Mama, somethingsomethingsomething NURSE somethingsomething ok?” and he was pulling at my shirt. He didn’t seem sad, but he did make it known to me that he still remembers and if it’s an option to him, he’d like to take that option.

Poor guy!

I sorta laughed and he laughed too, and I tried to tell him that mama’s milk is all gone and that he is a big boy now, and then I read him a book. Cuz he likes books.

I don’t know if he will forget he ever nursed by the time his sister is born. We’ll see what happens!