But I can definitely relate to all these things you want. Most of them are things I didn’t know to fight for with #1, and then I had them with #2 (at home). I can’t stand needles in my arm, it’s so distracting. I wasn’t checked at all for dilation and, like you said, we could tell where we were by emotional signposts. When you aren’t numb, it’s dramatically obvious. I drank this awesome natural grape Powerade-type stuff I got from Whole Foods through a bendy straw. Then immediately after I ate spaghetti bake. Everything went beautifully.

And I don’t think being forced to wear a hospital gown is trivial. When they made me put that horrible gown on, it set the tone for my birth. Its barfy color, its tremendous size symbolized the hospital’s view that I was not an individual with unique needs and desires, but a faceless, mindless patient who should be stuck in bed and treated uniformly with whatever interventions were usually done. And, basically, that’s what happened! Maybe you NOT wearing a hospital gown will be a red flag to a nurse coming in on a shift change or whatnot that you are NOT having a typical medicated hospital birth.

When the nurse told Josh she didn’t think the doctor would deliver me like that, he said, “He’s short, he can handle it.” BEST PART OF THE NIGHT. And his favorite part was when the doctor kept trying to get me to lay on my back so he could determine the size of the baby. Laying on my back was the most uncomfortable position for me at the time and I kept putting it off bc the contractions were so intense and on top of each other. Finally I just told the doctor, “It doesn’t matter how big the baby is; I can push him out!” Lol. The memories.

And no one took Levi from us without Josh at his side. Good thing, too, because he looked so different from Benjamin and Olivia, I had times at home after he was born where I wondered if he’d been switched at birth! But it’s impossible. Josh’s eyes were on him constantly.

I know hospital births can be worrisome – ahem, Benjamin and Olivia’s births…. – But they can also be awesome! You have an amazing coach/partner/husband. You two will establish the atmosphere of “We are educated people and we know what we want” and the nurses will take that cue and work with you. At least, that’s my prayer!

come to think of it, Lucy only left my sight once- that was for her hearing test, and Brett went with her.

we didn’t give her a bath until she came home. have you looked at the great (and little known) things that vernix does? very interesting. we just rubbed it in and gave her a bath when we got home.

Anyway, I’m glad that I have friends like you who will have learned all the ropes by the time I’m ready to have kids so you can teach me all these do’s and don’ts!

I hope the hospital will be willing to work with you on this. Cheers.

I certainly don’t think there’s anything wrong with knowing what you want. I have admired you and your knowledge and preparedness throughout both your pregnancies. A happy, healthy baby and mom are what’s most important. You are 100% right — you are not sick, and you are not a patient! You are/will be an inspiration when Joe and I become parents (probably still a few years down the road… gotta have that income first). Good luck, congratulations on your daughter, and way to go!