Jonathan is a little over five weeks old, and I’ve been exclusively breastfeeding him for his whole little life.

When I was pregnant, I knew that I wanted to breastfeed. The health benefits for him (and myself) are tremendous; the convenience and cost (free!) were also important factors. But, I was nervous. I didn’t know much about breastfeeding. And to be honest, the whole thing did seem a little weird, even though I knew it was a natural thing. Hey, childbirth is natural and that’s also a bit weird to me!

I can only recall seeing one woman breastfeed a child, and that was my mom feeding my sister. My sister is now 18 years old. I’m sure I’ve come across more nursing mothers since then, but either I can’t remember seeing them, or they were so discreet that I didn’t know what they were doing anyway.

I also haven’t been around many infants in my life. I guess lack of infants = lack of being around a breastfeeding mom.

If I wanted to breastfeed my baby, I knew that I’d have to turn to outside help if I wanted it to work out.

My Bradley childbirth class spent a class session on the topic, I attended a La Leche League meeting (and I hope to go to another one soon), I read lots of info online, and read a few books.

After Johnny was born, I requested a visit from a lactaction consultant. She came by about 36 or so hours after delivering. She would be the only help I received while in the hospital — my midwife didn’t help, and neither did any nurses. The nurses asked me how often I tried to feed him and how I thought it was going, but nobody took the time to observe us to make sure it really was going well.

Fortunately for us both, we were able to get breastfeeding off to a decent start. But what if we hadn’t? What if I hadn’t tried to prepare myself beforehand? And what if I needed more help?

Though breastfeeding is natural, it doesn’t mean it comes naturally for mother and baby. It’s a new skill for both to learn, and it really does take time.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that babies are exclusively breastfed for at least their first six months of life. After that, they can be introduced to solids, but the AAP recommends they still receive breast milk through their first year. I believe the World Health Organization recommends even longer.

Given all of the benefits of breastfeeding, it’s easy to see why they have those recommendations.

So then, why are new moms left to fend for themselves for this oh-so-important task? Why the minimal support? We have doctors (and everyone else) telling mothers that “breast is best,” yet moms aren’t widely getting the support they need. Moms deserve better — and so do their babies.

I know that many readers of this blog are my friends from school. You ladies don’t ever seem to comment, but some have mentioned that you read, so I know you’re there :). Many of you hope to be moms on down the road. Because of all you readers, I’m going to blog about my experiences with breastfeeding.

I don’t have much experience, but I have done it a few hundred times already.

It is my hope that eventually, breastfeeding is the norm for moms and their babies. To get there, breastfeeding has to be talked about and made more common. And, new mommies need lots of support.

Jonathan weighs 7 lbs. 5 oz.! That’s exactly one pound more than he weighed at birth. Of course, he lost weight after birth, and was up to 6 lbs. 2 oz. on his 10th day of life. If I can do math, that means that he has gained 19 oz. in three weeks. That’s only slightly under the one-ounce-per-day growth pattern. ROCK AND ROLL!!!!

I knew that he had gained some weight since he really is starting to look and feel bigger. His newborn-sized clothes are fitting much better, and I dare say that within two weeks, he won’t be in them at all!

His length is 20.5 inches, maybe. He wiggled so much during that measurement that it could definitely be off.

His head is 37cm in circumference. At birth, it was 34.5 cm. Lol.

When the dr. needed to look into his mouth, I said, “Say ‘ahhh!’” and he did. I did that twice, and so did he. Smarty. The dr. noticed and thought it was cute.
He had a hepatitis shot today. As the nurse jabbed the needle into his thigh, he let out a major poop! With such gusto, too. Startled the poop right out of him, she did. He cried for a second after, but he seemed to be ok enough.

After that doctor visit, we headed down the road to Sam’s Club and Target. I had a coupon for a $25 gift certificate when joining Sam’s. I also had a $30 Walmart gift card (you can use them at Sam’s, too), which I put toward the $40 membership. Not a bad deal, ya know? I’m not too familiar with Sam’s, but I do know that there are some deals to be had there. We’ll see how it goes.

I picked up some toilet paper, some bottled water, and a box of pigs in a blanket. I was hoping for a lot of free samples in the store, but today they just had a Dixie cup of water from a Brita pitcher and an eclair. I was thankful for both.

So, apparently if you want random people in Pittsburgh to talk to you, you just have to have a baby! OH. People rarely started conversations or said hi to me pre-Johnny. Today at Sam’s, several people talked to me about my baby, commented on my sling, or told me that the TGIFriday’s green bean fries were pretty good. It was nice to have that interaction with folks.

Next, we went to Target. I bought some nursing tanks, and I really hope they fit ok since I didn’t bother to try them on in the store.

Johnny didn’t seem to mind being out at all. He was hungry at the doctor’s office, so I fed him in the waiting room and in the exam room. No biggie. He fell asleep and stayed that way while we were shopping.

I haven’t had the need to nurse in public yet, but I’m starting to feel more confident about doing that. More on nursing in an upcoming post.

My baby is one month old today! Getting so old. He’s walking, talking, and potty-trained.

Ok no.

But, he has made a lot of changes since he was born. For one, he’s noticeably bigger. At first, I could hold him with one arm and it would feel like I was holding nothing since he was so light. I can still do the one-arm football hold, but he feels much heavier. His body is starting to fill out and he seems longer to me. Later today, we’ll visit the pediatrician to get his stats. I’m going to put in my guess and say he’s 20.5 inches and 7 lbs. 3 oz.

He smiles in quick little spurts, and it just melts my heart! So cute. I’m not fast enough to capture it on camera, but soon enough I’ll get him. I think he has dimples, but those big smiles are so rapid that I can’t be sure. Mostly, he gives us little half-grins.

All we do all day is feed, cuddle and sleep. There’s an occasional bath tossed in. Oh, and he goes through a lot of diapers. He’ll poop (you can usually hear the splurt!) and we’ll wait a few minutes but he won’t be done, and then he’ll fill another diaper shortly after. Lol.

He’s starting to get better head control, but he’s still kind of a bobble head. Shane likes to give him his “tummy time” and I think that helps.

Jonathan seems to prefer sleeping in someone’s arms instead of laying down on his own. That’s fine during the day, but when I haven’t had a wink of sleep in awhile, it gets really tiring. I honestly don’t accomplish anything during the day except for feeding him. I’m lucky if I change my clothes or shower. I have to remind myself to get something to eat or drink, since a lot of the time I either don’t think about it or I’m too tired to get up and get it (if Shane’s home, he gets me things of course).

In a lot of ways, having a newborn is exactly how I imagined it to be: He sleeps, poops, eats and cries, and that’s about it. I’m insanely sleep-deprived. Everyone knows these things will happen.

I think that we’re actually doing pretty well. We’ve been fortunate to have our parents come and stay with us for a few days, and they’ve been helpful. We have a healthy baby (thank God!) so we just have basic things to do for Johnny.

Even though I would like more sleep, I guess it doesn’t really matter at this point. I’m doing exactly what I should be doing: feeding and loving my baby. I don’t think I’m supposed to be doing anything else right now anyway.

I hope that our lives get easier soon, though. I want to start venturing outdoors some more. Later today, we’re going to the doctor like I said. I’m also hoping we can do a little bit of shopping. Maybe?

Also, I’m proud of Shane and I. We hadn’t ever cared for a newborn before, and had limited interaction with the tiniest of babies before our son was born. We really didn’t know what we were doing, but we managed to figure things out just fine. Our first week at home was just the three of us — no outside help. Getting through that week did a lot of good for our confidence.

Let’s do a comparison.

Full-time job: 40 hours per week
Baby: 168 hours per week minus time for mama to shower, sit on the potty, and an occasional quick trip to the grocery. Also, subtract time Dad is the only parent responding to Baby (when Mama is too tired to move, let alone tend to Baby) = 160 hours per week. Hmm. That’s like four full-time jobs!

Full-time job: Someone pays you money.
Baby: You get a tax credit and tax deduction. Other forms of payment include cuddles and grins.

Full-time job: You leave your work at work. It typically ends when you clock out at the end of the day.
Baby: Always on the clock.

Full-time job: You have a lunch hour (or lunch half hour) and maybe one quick coffee break each day.
Baby: Your employer eats 8-12 times or more in a 24-hour span. Translated to an 8-hour workday, Baby will have about three to four meals in that time slot, each around 20 to 45 minutes long.

Full-time job: It would be illegal/immoral to kiss your boss.
Baby: Your boss expects hundreds of kisses per day, and you gladly oblige.

Full-time job: Work to live.
Baby: Live to work.

I didn’t sleep much last night. I had a nap around 7:30 p.m. and got up around 10 p.m., and was awake with Jonathan until, oh, 5:30 a.m. after Shane and I tried everything we could think of to get him to sleep. Turns out, he wanted to sleep in someone’s arms. I parked myself in the recliner and got as cozy as I could, and we both passed out until 7:30.

Breakfast (his, not mine).

Then, we slept until about 10:45.

Brunch (his).

Slept again until about 2 p.m.

Lunch.

He’s sleeping right now, and I should be asleep too I guess. I need to get a meal in my belly first.

My body didn’t know extreme physical pain until I gave birth. I didn’t know “love-at-first-sight” until my son was placed on my belly. And I certainly didn’t know extreme exhaustion until I had a newborn. All-nighters in college? Yeah. You sleep at the end of those for as long as you want. But life with a newborn? I sleep in 45 minute to 3-hour long spurts, with 30 minute to many-hours long bursts of time awake in between. For almost four weeks straight and counting.

I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining, but man, this little guy can really kick my butt. And yet, I’d much prefer to care for him than have any other ‘job.’

He won’t be this little for long. And his needs and sleep patterns will change soon enough. Until then, we’re still in survival mode.

What on earth could I be doing that could be any better than this?

After getting through one semi-unmedicated birth at a hospital assisted by a midwife, I can totally see why people choose to have home births. I can also appreciate why some women opt for that epidural.

I made it through one birth without pain medication, but that doesn’t mean my next birth will be the same. Each birth is different, and we’re all better off to prepare ourselves for a variety of scenarios.

If you’re pregnant or would like to be some day, it’s a good idea to learn all you can about labor and delivery. If you know what to expect, you’ll be much more at peace with the whole thing. You’ll know what is normal and what is not.

Normal: Vomiting during active labor. Unpleasant, but your body is clearing itself out.

Abnormal: High blood pressure.

Shane and I wanted to have a natural, unmedicated childbirth. After researching birth and medications, I learned that certain interventions, such as using an epidural for pain, or Pitocin to speed along labor, could actually cause problems. The epidural might not work. In rare cases, it could cause damage to your spine or make you sick. The drugs have been shown to reach the baby, and you can see the difference in babies born with epidurals than ones born without. An epidural can lengthen your labor. It can make your pushes not as effective. It can cause distress in your baby. The epidural blocks the good hormones and chemicals your uterus is sending to your brain. After delivery, you might not be able to walk for awhile or use the bathroom on your own.

There was a point in my labor when I started talking about epidurals. I was in transition, which is intense. Asking for pain meds and wanting to give up are extremely common in this stage, which only lasts maybe 30 minutes. I didn’t really want an epi, but it certainly did hurt during the contractions! Because of our childbirth class, Shane and I knew how to get through this period.

In many cases, a woman who has an epidural might also receive Pitocin to increase her contractions, since the epi might slow her down. Pitocin is synthetic oxytocin. Your body also produces oxytocin, but the natural version has different effects than the Pit. These contractions are said to be stronger than natural ones, and can cause considerably more pain in a mom. In addition, the contractions can be too strong for your baby and can cause him distress. Long-term effects of this drug are not known.

First-time mothers who have these interventions are thought to be much more likely to have a last-minute c-section.

I knew that I absolutely didn’t want a c-section. It’s major surgery and recovering from it would be difficult. It can also cause problems down the road. But, I know there are times when c-sections are absolutely necessary, and if I was in that situation, I’d want one.

Ideally, I wanted to go into labor on my own and proceed without any intervention. I wanted to avoid c-sections and artificial complications. I also wanted my baby to be born without any drugs in his system. A dose of medicine for me, an adult, would be way too much for my little six-pounder. I didn’t want anything to get in the way of those natural hormones surging through our bodies during labor and in the time after. And, the thought of an epidural — a needle in my spine — terrified me. I didn’t want to lose the feeling in much of my body. I wanted to keep what control I could.

Shane and I prepared for our birth by taking Bradley childbirth classes, reading books, and practicing our relaxation techniques. Our class allowed us to talk about birth each week. We discussed aspects of it as a couple, and also with other expectant couples. Our trained instructor had a wealth of information to share.

We both learned about what we could expect and how to best prepare. Taking the class (ours was 10 weeks long, about 2.5 hours each meeting) was absolutely worth our time. True, we could have gotten through birth without the class. But, I think the knowledge gained made it much easier on both of us.

If you’ve read my lengthy birth story, you know that I didn’t have a totally unmedicated delivery. I had cervidil to augment my labor, and I also had an IV of magnesium sulfate to prevent seizures, as I had developed preeclampsia.

The whole preeclampsia thing makes me wary of ever having a home birth, personally.

In early labor at the hospital, I thought to myself, “I get why people want home births.” You avoid all the nurses taking blood samples from your arm, hooking you up to a (possibly unnecessary) hep lock, restricting your movement by hooking you up to fetal monitors, etc. You have to wear an uncomfortable hospital gown and do your thing in an unfamiliar environment.

I can see the appeal of being in your home, not being bothered by anyone.

However. My preeclampsia came on fast. It wasn’t confirmed until 1 a.m., and I had been in active labor since about 4 p.m. the day prior.

I can’t say for certain what would have happened if the preeclampsia went undetected, or if I didn’t have the magnesium sulfate. Maybe I would have seized. Maybe my baby would have gotten into trouble. Maybe nothing would have happened at all. My pre-e case was on the mild side, and my son was born 3.5 hours after the pre-e was discovered (delivery is the cure for pre-e), so there really is a good chance that nothing would have happened. We just can’t know, though.

I think the pre-e startled me enough to rule out any future home births. I hadn’t really considered going for it, though I hadn’t ruled it out. Now, I’m ruling it out. In the future, I want to continue to deliver at a hospital so that I can have immediate access to potentially life-saving medications. And, I can have a rapid c-section if it becomes critical. But, I do want to keep under the care of a midwife, as I had this time. I appreciate the midwifery model of care, and I know midwives are more likely to let me do things naturally.

If you’re pregnant, please prepare yourself for your delivery. Read all you can (I like the Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth, Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way, and Husband-Coached Childbirth). Scour the internet. Read birth stories. Talk to your friends. Take a childbirth class. The Bradley method is all about doing things naturally, understanding what’s going on, relaxing through the pain to let your body work, and having your husband coach you all the way through. I like it, but it might not be for everyone. Find a way to prepare that will work for you and your husband.

Just know that if you don’t actively prepare for your birth and just show up at the hospital in labor thinking, “Maybe I’ll try it without pain meds,” you’ll probably fail. Sorry. If you (and your partner!!) don’t understand what will happen and what various interventions can do, you just might be taking on more than you can handle. Maybe.

And if you know yourself and know that your pain tolerence isn’t high and you hope to have an epidural (after understanding all the benefits and risks, of course), you have to realize that hey, there is a chance that it won’t work. Maybe half of your body will be numb, but not the other side. Maybe it’ll give you a horrible spinal headache. Maybe you won’t have enough time to get one. Maybe the anesthesiologist will be MIA. It would be a reasonable idea to at least prepare for the possibility that you won’t have access to pain relief.

If you do get an epidural or some other form of meds, do not feel like a failure. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad. Your circumstances will be different from anyone else’s, and any of your previous births, likely. Your family and friends cannot understand the level of pain you’re experiencing. Maybe you’re having an exceptionally long labor, and you’re simply too exhausted to keep going. Getting an epidural to allow you some time to rest could be a great thing! Or maybe, your labor is extra short (which means it’s really intense!) and your pain is simply too much to handle. Maybe your baby is facing your front and causing you excruciating back labor.

You can’t know what will happen beforehand. Prepare for all possibilities (even a c-section), and you can’t go wrong.

After getting through one mostly natural birth, I can definitely say that it was worth it. I felt amazing immediately afterwards. My baby was alert from the get-go. My recovery was undoubtedly easier. The recovery nurses, our pediatrician, and even our midwife were impressed with how we all looked in the hours and days that followed. After achieving that, I felt as if I could do anything!