I had my second doctor’s visit–my 11 week appointment–today. Things went well! She used the Doppler device and was able to find Baby’s heartbeat. Swooshin’ along at 170 beats per minute, right where it should be. As I get further along and closer to my due date, it will drop to the 120s or so.

I’m down to 131.5 pounds from 136 at my last visit. I’m not all that surprised, since my appetite has been down and I get full easily. The doctor wasn’t all that concerned about it. I’m going to do my best to make those numbers go up by my next appointment (just like I was doing this time, but unsuccessfully).

I asked the doc how often she induces women, and she said that if the mom has high blood pressure, the baby is getting really big, she’s a week overdue, or if there’s other complications, she’ll go ahead and induce. She said some people like to induce to pick their baby’s birthday.

I’m not interested in that.

With a Dec. 30 due date, it’s entirely possible I’ll deliver on Christmas or on New Year’s. I’m just going to let Baby come when he’s ready. (No, I don’t know if it’s a boy or girl yet. Won’t find out until I’m at 18 weeks. But, today I feel like it’s a boy, so I’ll use that pronoun, lol).

She also said most of her patients request an epidural.

I’m not sure how I feel about that, either. I do have a high pain tolerance, but then again, I’ve never been in labor, so I really have no idea what to expect. I’m going to do some more research on it. According to what I’ve found so far, having an epidural can slow labor, which can mean the doctor wants to give you Pitocin to bring on the contractions, which can lead to fetal distress, which can lead to a C-section. Definitely not something I want to happen.

So, I have no idea. Luckily, I have some time to get things figured out.

I am interested in hiring a doula to be there with me during labor and delivery. She’s basically an advocate for me, who understands the whole process and will be able to explain things to me in great detail. She’ll be there with me the entire time, as opposed to the nurses who have shifts that will likely end during my labor.

I’m still not looking pregnant, and I’m still not really feeling pregnant, either. I’m guessing that will happen in just a few weeks or so. Thanks for keeping us in your prayers!

I’m 11 weeks along! Just two more weeks and a few days, and I’ll be in my second trimester and hopefully I won’t need a nap or two every day.

Other than the tiredness, I’ve been feeling pretty good lately. Shane and I went swimming the other day in an attempt to get some exercise in. I did a full lap (down and back) and that’s it. I’m a terrible swimmer, what can I say? But maybe with a little practice, I’ll get better.

Still no baby bump, which is to be expected. Though lately, after a meal, I bloat out, but that goes away after a few hours.

Also, I can’t eat that much. I just get full really fast. It’s kind of annoying, because I like to eat.

Here’s what’s going on, according to BabyCenter.com.

Your baby, just over 1 1/2 inches long and about the size of a fig, is now almost fully formed. Her hands will soon open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds are beginning to appear under her gums, and some of her bones are beginning to harden.

She’s already busy kicking and stretching, and her tiny movements are so effortless they look like water ballet. These movements will become more frequent as her body grows and becomes more developed and functional. You won’t feel your baby’s acrobatics for another month or two — nor will you notice the hiccupping that may be happening now that her diaphragm is forming.

In a way, I was kind of dreading my birthday. I’m not afraid of turning a year older–in fact, I’m excited about that part.

But I knew that I’d feel really homesick today.

I was dreading being all alone for the first part of the day while Shane was at work. Normally, I’m by myself, running errands, writing, and whatever. Normally, that’s A-OK.

But when it’s your birthday, you don’t want it to be just another ordinary day. I was hoping that maybe I’d go out for lunch or ice cream or to the pool or something. But honestly, doing those things by myself sounded really unfun.

Shane and I have a reservation for dinner tonight at what looks to be a lovely restaurant. I’m looking forward to that! And, we had a fun weekend together, running around, going swimming, shopping, and stuff together. It was nice.

This was my second birthday in Pittsburgh. On my last birthday, we hadn’t even been in Pittsburgh for a week. We were exhausted. I was bummed about not being close to friends or family. Shane took me to the mall and bought me some pearl earrings that I had wanted, ever since I had borrowed a pair from my grandma on my wedding day. It was a perfectly good day, for a day–but a ho-hum birthday. My heart just wasn’t in it.

And this year, it’s much of the same. The well-wishes I’ve received on Facebook, my blog, via e-mail, phone calls, and through the postal mail have really perked me up. But I really wish I could have seen and hugged friends or family (besides Shane) today.

It’s a lonely world, and I still don’t know many people in Pittsburgh (two, if we’re counting).

I’ve tried not to have too much of a pity party today, because feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t do a bit of good. I think being really lonely on your birthday can actually be a good lesson.

I don’t think I’m alone in being lonely, if that makes any sense.

I’m sure there’s tons of people out there who have crappy birthdays, simply because people forget to wish them well or pop over for a visit. Or maybe, they don’t have anyone who can do those things. That breaks my heart.

I hope to always remember my friends and family on their birthdays. I totally forgot to send my dad a birthday card this year. I’ve got to do better.

Making the birthday person’s day a little bit brighter isn’t that hard to do, but it can feel so wonderfully good.

All of my birthdays won’t be like this. And, not everyone even makes it to their 23rd year. I have a lot to be thankful for.

Today is the 10-week mark! I’m 25 percent of the way there, assuming I deliver at 40 weeks. Seems like it’s going really slowly so far, but some people have told me that it starts to speed up.

Things are going well, and I don’t have anything new or exciting to report on the baby front. My next doctor’s visit is next week, so I’ll be sure to write about that later.

From Baby Center:

Though he’s barely the size of a kumquat — a little over an inch or so long, crown to bottom — and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, your baby has now completed the most critical portion of his development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in his body rapidly grow and mature.

He’s swallowing fluid and kicking up a storm. Vital organs — including his kidneys, intestines, brain, and liver (now making red blood cells in place of the disappearing yolk sac) — are in place and starting to function, though they’ll continue to develop throughout your pregnancy.

If you could take a peek inside your womb, you’d spot minute details, like tiny nails forming on fingers and toes (no more webbing) and peach-fuzz hair beginning to grow on tender skin.

In other developments: Your baby’s limbs can bend now. His hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over his heart, and his feet may be long enough to meet in front of his body. The outline of his spine is clearly visible through translucent skin, and spinal nerves are beginning to stretch out from his spinal cord. Your baby’s forehead temporarily bulges with his developing brain and sits very high on his head, which measures half the length of his body. From crown to rump, he’s about 1 1/4 inches long. In the coming weeks, your baby will again double in size — to nearly 3 inches.

See what your baby looks like this week.

I need to start out by telling you that what I’m about to say is the dumbest thing ever. I’m embarrassed to publish this post. But, I’m gunna anyway–cuz sometimes having a blog is about writing dumb/embarrassing things for the world (or your mom, grandma, friends and strangers) to see.

I don’t want to be vain. Usually, I don’t care how I look. Typically, I don’t have issues with my body image. I know my top priority should be to be as healthy as I can be, so that my baby is also healthy. Yet, ridiculous thoughts keep creeping back into my mind.

I’m not excited about looking fat. There. I said it.

More like, I’m really dreading looking fat.

I have no problem with actually looking pregnant with a round belly. It’s the in-between phase that I’m worried about. I don’t want to look really thick around the middle (or wherever else) for a month or two before I start rounding out.

I don’t even understand why I care, seeing as I know less than a handful of people in Pittsburgh anyway, and I really don’t think they’d judge me. Shane keeps assuring me that I’ll be beautiful no matter what, and I won’t look fat, and to please stop talking about looking fat, because it’s silly.

I think this is just a battle between me and my mirror.

A few of my friends have told me that I’ll be such a cute pregnant lady. They predict I’ll have a little baby bump and then look like I ate a basketball. Cute, yah? It could end up that way, but I keep having dreams/bad thoughts where I puff up like the Pillsbury Dough Boy.

I should mention that I’m eating well and I’m NOT avoiding food (unless it would make me feel barfy). I’m not trying to avoid gaining weight; rather, I know I’m supposed to gain 25-30 pounds and I’m not afraid of the numbers on the scale creeping up.

In a way, I think it’s easier to concern myself with the silly matters (like my appearance) rather than worry about more serious things such as, “Will my baby be healthy? Will he/she like me? Will I be a good mom? Where will my baby be born!?”

Yes. Thinking about the horrors of looking chubby to a bunch of people in Pittsburgh that I don’t even know seems a lot better than worrying about real things.

I mean, good grief, last week I thought I was having a miscarriage for crying out loud! And this week, I’m all like, “Meep! I don’t want to look fat.” So stupid.

Whatever. I’m being so ridiculous right now. It won’t be long before something happens to my midsection. I’m going to do my best to accept it, appreciate it, and get over myself.