20-week update and stuff
Just got back from my 20-week appointment (well, I’m 20 weeks tomorrow). My weight is still hovering around where it was, and there was a note in my file to watch it. BUT the midwife today said that since Johnny recently weaned, that could be part of it.
With him, I didn’t really start gaining weight until toward the third trimester. It will come!
I got to ask a few questions about my previous birth and the one that’s coming up:
First, the Cervidil I had to augment my labor with Johnny supposedly made my contractions more frequent and more intense than they would have been otherwise. I did notice they were frequent!
Then, the magnesium sulfate I had for the pre-ecclampsia worked to relax my muscles and make it that much harder to have effective contractions, and possibly to push.
The combination of the two drugs likely made my labor much harder than it would have been otherwise. I did notice that once the IV of mag sulf. started, I was zapped of my energy and it was just hard to get comfortable. Plus, I was stuck in the bed.
And I got through it anyway! So this time will be even better.
As far as my birthing requests go…
She said I didn’t HAVE to wear the hospital gown, that there wasn’t any rule saying I needed to. I just needed to make sure they had access to me and stuff. Good.
The heplock/IV won’t be needed unless I need any type of drug (of course) including an antibiotic if I am positive for Group B Strep. She said they don’t do the Hibiclens instead of an antibiotic. Hmm. I need to think more about this one. I was negative with Johnny but it doesn’t mean I won’t be this time. For more interesting things on Group B Strep, read here: http://enjoybirth.wordpress.com/2010/07/25/group-b-strep-what-are-your-options/ . (Sorry I can’t hyperlink…this blog’s settings are doing weird things).
For eating/drinking — she said just bring some stuff and don’t ask/don’t tell if I’m eating or drinking 
. Haha. She said especially since I would decline the IV, I would need to keep hydrated.
She said the labor nurses sort of self-select and I may get a nurse that is friendly to natural childbirth, or I might not. It’s sort of the luck of the draw and might depend on how busy it is that night. I will just keep on praying for a nurse that will put up with me!
Lastly, she said she’s seen good things from moms who use Hypnobabies/Hypnobirthing. She didn’t seem to know the difference between the two, but when I said the Hypnobabies has CDs, that ringed a bell for her. She said the moms seem much more relaxed. Cool.
I’m feeling a tiny bit better about another hospital birth but there’s still some anxiety. It’ll be ok, though!
Oh, and I’m already feeling the Braxton-Hicks contractions. I love these! I think of them as my uterus getting some exercise (cuz it is). As long as they aren’t too frequent, we’re good. Plus, once I actually start my Hypnobabies course, I can use each one as a reminder to practice my techniques.
On the waiting list for a birth center :/
I thought my health insurance didn’t cover the area birth center here. Turns out, they do. I had to make calls to both the birth center and my insurance company to make sure — and yep! So I was really excited about switching.
But, I must have waited too long. They are at capacity for December due-date mothers. I am #3 on the waiting list. Phooey!
I realized that all of my birthing preferences (previous post) were standard procedure at the birth center. That would be much less stress on me and Shane!
I have a prenatal appointment with my original midwife group tomorrow and I will hopefully have time to discuss all of my preferences. I hope they will have a favorable reaction to all of them.
Still don’t want a home birth, and there are no other birth centers around. Oh well — we can make it work!
Thinking about my birthing preferences
I won’t be making a long sheet of birth preferences for this birth. I don’t think a full sheet of text will get read. Instead, I think I will put a few key points on there, and then just communicate what I want as I progress.
I will absolutely start discussing with the midwives my birthing preferences, probably starting with my next prenatal appointment at 20 weeks. I don’t know which midwife will be there to catch my daughter (still weird to say “daughter”!) so I might as well talk about it with all of them.
These requests might sound trivial, and they are in the grand scheme of birthing. But darn it, I am the customer here (NOT a patient. I am NOT sick). If mama ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy.
And let me say first — I do understand that real medical emergencies happen. When they do, I am grateful for the medical expertise that helps the situation. If that happens, I will comply with all that is asked of me, provided that I am given my options if there is enough time.
But I am preparing for a normal, natural, uneventful, unmedicated birth.
For starters, I don’t want to wear that annoying hospital gown to birth in. The nurse insisted I put it on last time (instead of my own clothes) and I was too timid to protest.
But the humongous gown was constantly in my way. It was probably size 3X or more (which I can understand) but I was just swimming in the darn thing. It was hard to keep out of my way when I walked around, went to the bathroom. And plus, it made me feel like a hospital patient.
This time, I want to wear a bikini top and probably a short, stretchy skirt. And if they have a problem with either of those, fine. I will just be naked. I don’t have to look at myself — they have to deal with it. And besides, at a certain point in my birthing, I really did lose all modesty and I didn’t care if a boob was sticking out, or if my heiny was feeling the breeze or any of that. I had other things on my mind!
It would be nice if they let me wear what I wanted. And if something unforeseen happens and they have to wheel me off to the OR, then surely someone could throw a blanket over my giant pregnant self.
Trivial? Yes. I don’t care.
The next one is not so trivial. I do not want a freaking IV! I don’t want a hep-lock/saline lock or whatever they want to call it, either.
The stupid thing in my hand made it so I couldn’t put any weight on my left arm. It made getting in a comfortable position so hard!
I understand that if I accept any type of drug — be it a pain med, induction/augmentation drug, or antibiotic, etc., I will need a line open. So start the line at that time. Don’t start it when I am totally fine.
Because seriously, all good nurses can start an IV line in an emergency, am I wrong? So let’s do it then. Or how ’bout we’re not doing it at all, since I won’t be needing any of those interventions this time.
Next, I don’t want any internal exams until I’m pushing. I think it’s ok for an internal to verify that I am completely open, but that’s it. I don’t want internal exams during prenatal appointments. It doesn’t matter one stinkin’ bit if I’m 0cm and not effaced at some appointment, or if I’m 3 cm. That is not an accurate way to predict when my daughter will be born.
If I know that I’m at 0, I might unconsciously (or consciously) become frustrated. Or if I know I’m starting to open, then I might get extra anxious. Neither are beneficial.
Same with once the birth starts. I may or may not progress at 1 cm/an hour. This seems to be some sort of textbook dilation rate. Do women actually open at this rate? I have no idea. Further, it doesn’t matter. A mom can seriously go from 2 cm to holding her baby in her arms in just a few hours (or less!).
I was so frustrated to find out, after some hard laboring, that I was only 4 cm along. I thought I’d be much further. It would have been better to hear a simple, “You are progressing nicely, well done,” if they absolutely had to check, instead of me hearing that number.
Plus, internal exams while in labor are extra-uncomfortable.
A better indicator of how far progressed a mom is, is just by observing her behaviors. There are definite signposts!
So no, I do not want a bunch of internal exams unless someone can make a darn good case for one.
I understand the need for continuous fetal monitoring once a drug has been introduced to the mom’s system. The drug can have a negative effect on the baby, and the monitor would probably pick up on that. However, studies have shown that continuous fetal monitoring does NOT improve outcomes on babies or mothers! It just leads to more unnecessary c-sections (I can’t hyperlink for some reason, so I will paste one source: http://www.childbirth.org/articles/efmfaq.html).
If I’m birthing drug-free, then no, I will not consent to continuous monitoring. Intermittent monitoring can be done by the midwife or a nurse. Why should I have to lay still for 20 minutes every hour, when there are better, quicker alternatives?
There is an incredibly stupid rule at the hospital that doesn’t allow laboring moms to eat or drink anything but ice chips. Maybe some water, too. Or clear fluids. Either way, it’s really dumb and unfounded.
The idea is, stomach contents could be aspirated if the mom needs immediate knock-out surgery, and the anesthesiologist screws up. But see, not eating or drinking at ANY point in time cannot guarantee that the stomach will be empty, or that aspiration will occur.
Get in a car wreck and are unconscious and need surgery? They aren’t going to say, “Well too bad, we don’t know if he has food in his belly or not. We don’t want him to aspirate!!”
The stomach will still contain acids, which can also be aspirated and is MORE dangerous than if it were diluted by food.
Anesthesiologists treat surgical patients as if they do have a full stomach, so they make sure their techniques will protect the patient.
So yeah, let’s starve and dehydrate the laboring mom. She doesn’t need energy. Just pump some fluids into her IV. No risk of fluid overload, or her blood being thinned, or her oxytocin and other birthing hormones being diluted, or her blood pressure being affected, or her baby artificially gaining water weight, or an annoying, uncomfortable IV in her arm. Yeah.
Instead, if I am thirsty, someone had better give me what I want to drink. And if I’m hungry, well then, bring me my snack bag. I will sign whatever waivers they want to throw at me. But do NOT tell me I can’t have anything to drink or eat.
When it comes time to push my baby out, I don’t want to be told how and how long to push. I can see why a mom with an epidural would need help. But I can feel what’s going on. I know what to do. Let me do it on my own, unless there’s some reason I need to be sped along. Better for baby and better for me.
What else can this demanding pregnant lady possibly want? One more thing, and it’s a biggun’. I do not want to be separated from my baby. If I cannot accompany her to whatever procedure or bath or whatnot, then I am sending Shane.
Last time, the nurse wanted to give Johnny a bath in the nursery. I wanted Shane to go with, to ensure that he would be brought back promptly, to see how she did it (maybe get some tips!) and to make sure he wouldn’t be given a bottle or paci. The nurse told me no. She said that if we did, then ALL the parents would want to go with their babies for a bath.
She seriously said that.
Again, I was too timid to speak up and say that didn’t make any sense.
This time? Yeah. I’m going. Or Shane is going. And if they’re not cool with that, then fine, no bath for the baby.
I also had to send Johnny to the nursery for a heel-prick test or something of the sort. He was gone for 45 minutes. I was starting to get some serious anxiety — WHERE IS MY BABY?! GIVE ME MY BABY NOW! — and I was heading out the door to go look for him, when they wheeled him back.
I’m guessing they held him for awhile so they wouldn’t bring a screaming babe back to his mom. But you know what’s great for screaming babes? THEIR MOMS.
Can I say for sure they didn’t give him a bottle at that time? I just don’t know. Cuz he was awfully quiet and content after having that heel prick. And he wasn’t interested in nursing for awhile after that.
It’s not to say that I think the hospital staff is out to sabotage me and my baby. Far from it! I know they have a job to do. I know they probably aren’t thrilled with people like me, who want things that aren’t the hospital norm.
But I’m the customer. I’m the mom. And I don’t think I’m being unreasonable.
Ideally, I won’t show up to triage until I’m about ready to push. I figure the less time I’m there, the better, even if that means I’m puttering around on hospital grounds for awhile. But I also know that plans can change, and I could be there well before I’m pushing.
We’ll see what the midwives say to my requests. I will ask that they put them in my file, and speak up on my behalf at the birth so that I don’t have to deal with any confrontations. Shane will also be well-versed in my wishes, and will be my advocate.
I am not anxious about giving birth, but I am anxious about being in the hospital!
And why not a home birth? Well, I don’t want one. Our insurance covers most of the hospital birth and our expenses will be just around $300 — prenatal appointments and tests and ultrasounds included. It’s too cheap to ignore. The insurance won’t cover me at the birth center or a home birth and I don’t want to pay out of pocket.
Plus, I do like being in a hospital in case something is needed — especially since it will be winter and I don’t want to be ambulancing my way across town on icy roads.
Can you relate at all or am I totally out there? What sort of things did/do you want to have your own way, instead of the hospital’s?
Misc. and baby names
Thanks for your suggestions for names for our little girl! Some have been really in line with the types of names we like. We have two first names that we are considering. We’ll need some time to test them out to see which one fits.
We’ll probably break some of my “rules.” First of all, the “easy to spell” rule will likely be broken — not that we’re considering difficult-to-spell names, but because ANY name can be misspelled, and people just don’t seem generally good at spelling names. Oh well.
Second, the name could possibly have a similar letter/sound to one of the names in our household. We’re trying to decide if we’re ok with that.
We will again likely keep the name a secret until her birth. We don’t want to have a name ready to go, look at her, and say, “Well that’s not you!”
(Plus, we don’t want to hear negative opinions. Ya know?)
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Johnny is now 19 months and saying more and more each day. His sleep sorta varies each night. Some nights once he’s asleep, he’ll stay in his bed and room until a reasonable hour in the morning. But lately, he’s been waking and coming into my room to get in my bed. Last night, I woke to a tiny hand on my butt. Good grief! We’ve got to work on this some more.
He’s not nursing anymore. The last time I breastfed him was at the Toy Story 3 movie at the drive-in on July 3. Aww. My milk supply is simply non-existent and it hurt to continue nursing. I want to elaborate more on the whole breastfeeding and weaning experience in an upcoming post.
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I ordered the Hypnobabies home study course, and I’m really impressed. It seems like a complete childbirth preparation course, and one that will help me! It has some of the things in Bradley that I liked, but there are quite a few key differences. I plan on blogging more about this, too.
Karen and I are probably going to start the study at the same time (between 28-30 weeks or so). That’s Septemberish/October.
I’ll also likely blog about each week’s lesson so you can get more info.
When I was shopping for childbirth prep courses when I was pregnant with Johnny, I did see the Hypnobabies web site but it just seemed sorta kooky to me. Now that I have one birthing experience behind me, I can more concretely know what I want and don’t want this time. And, I know that I need more mental preparation skills than I could get with Bradley.
I am optimistic about this home study. I’ve been listening to the pregnancy affirmations track, and the “peaceful sleep now” bonus track, and they are both pretty good, I’d say. Those two tracks can be enjoyed by anyone who is pregnant — not necessarily just by people who are Hypnobabies students.
The actual course will teach me how to use real hypno-anesthesia, which is the same type that patients who are highly allergic to traditional anesthesia use when they need surgery.
This stuff is the real deal, vs. Hypnobirthing (at least, the home version was) which just was so incomplete in this regard.
Check out Hypnobabies if you’re pregnant and interested in a childbirth prep course, or if you’ve already taken Bradley and want something more.
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I’m still reading the Bible in 90 days, and I’m in the middle of Isaiah right now. I thought I’d break up the Psalms and Proverbs and read a few of those each day instead of reading straight through them, since it’s hard for me to stay focused for long in those books. I have 37 or 38 days of reading remaining.
I am learning so much! I’m really glad I set out to read it in this manner. I’ll also be done a little bit before I begin Hypnobabies, which works out well.
I’m having a daughter!
Official announcement was on my main blog. You read that too, right?
I am still processing this. I am so used to being a boy-mama that I just sorta felt like this could be another boy! I mean, I felt pretty much the same as I did before, but I guess that doesn’t mean much. However, the old wives’ tale about boys giving their moms beauty and the girls taking it for themselves is holding true for me.
My skin was pretty clear and my hair cooperated with me when Johnny was aboard the mothership. Baby Girl’s voyage is giving me icky breakouts and hair that I want to hide under a helmet. Sheesh.
The ultrasound today went well. She was frank breech at first (butt down, feet straight up) and that meant we couldn’t see her girl parts. But eventually she shifted to more of a sidelying position and we caught a glimpse. I was worried we wouldn’t be able to find out!
Of course, they don’t do the ultrasound to find out if it’s a boy or girl–they’re looking at her body parts to make sure they are developing as they should. And everything looks great!
We have a short video of her just sorta hanging out. Her limbs move a little. It’s sorta hard to see what’s going on.
When the tech announced, “It’s a girl!” Johnny started fussing. His timing was so funny! He definitely doesn’t know what that means, or that there’s a baby even coming. He just wanted to get off of Shane’s lap or something. Silly goose.
As far as names go, we have no idea. I don’t like to think of names before we know if it’s a boy or girl, because I don’t want to have a name in mind that goes unused. That’s sad.
So…suggestions are welcome!
Here’s the criteria I spelled out when we were choosing our son’s name.
We chose Jonathan Michael for our son — “Jonathan” is pretty high on the popularity list (was #26 in the year he was born) and I think we’ll go for something a little less so for her. I think. “Michael” is also Shane’s middle name, so there ya go. Jonathan means “gift of God” and I love that!
We like classic, traditional, old-fashioned, perhaps slightly uncommon names. I want her name to be distinctly feminine. Easy-to-spell is a bonus, but truly people can misspell any name. I’ve seen Jonathan’s name spelled Jonathon and Johnathan, for instance.
The name shouldn’t end with an “a” or an “-ah” sound because all of the ones I know of that do would sound superdumb with our last name. Starting with an “A” is probably also not a great choice. I think a name with a hard consonant sound at the end would be great, but I think an “M” at the end might also sound at least semi-dumb.
And, we don’t want it to sound too close to our names.
I’m picky, I know. This isn’t going to be easy.
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