I have prepared as much as I can. Now, I just have to take things a day (or an hour) at a time and trust that things will be fine.

I don’t think I want kids until I’m about 30, so in the mean time, we’re getting all of our financial ducks in a row. I’m not waiting because of finances, I’m waiting because I don’t feel ready yet. So I figure, while waiting, I might as well be preparing, too. It’s not a requirement, but it will let me enjoy motherhood more and sleep better at night…since I hear sleep is hard to come by as it is!

My firstborn came at the worst possible time, financially, for us. We went from two incomes to one, were broke & wanted to get the car, the credit cards and the student loans paid off first. But it didn’t happen that way. Having a child became more important than money and it was being a parent, that taught me how to better manage / prioritize our finances.

I learned how to be frugal and it is the frugalness that I have carried with me all these years that enables us to do & have things we wouldn’t normally. I am still very frugal and my kids never knew we were poor for many years. Now that my kids are older they know we have certain rules about buying things (coupons, sales, comparison shopping) and they love helping me.

I just can’t imagine my life any other way… without my kids coming when they did I imagine we’d be less appreciative, more wasteful, and certainly poorer overall.

My brother and his wife want kids but they are saying they want to wait because they can’t afford it. I may never get a niece or nephew!

Jamie’s last blog post..Crafts & Stuff

Oh, and congratulations!

That being said, I will say that as a single woman I made a deliberate but very difficult choice not to have children, even though I really wanted one, and the primary reason was finances. I knew that I would not be able to support a child the way I wanted to when I was the only earner and the only caregiver, not because I think kids need lots of stuff, but because I know (having grown up in a single-parent household) that kids really do need a lot of security and that includes financial security. People shouldn’t think for a minute that raising a child in a home that offers a lot of love but is still a financial house of cards has no effect on the child. Those of us who grew up in homes that were financially shaky know that those times have far-reaching effects on us.

I also don’t think it’s fair to pin our decisions on God and say it’s all up to him. We have free will and brains to make choices with. Pregnancies sometimes happen by accident and that doesn’t make them a bad thing. But that also doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t plan and take responsibility for our life choices.

I also found myself wondering as I read through the other comments, do those who feel that all children are born when God wants feel the same way about children born to single parents? To gay parents? If so, why is our society so condemning of those families?

As far as the December baby goes… and the January hubby, too, for that matter… it is challenging to make them feel special around the holidays. It is very easy for their day to be swept up in the hurried holidays. But just by being aware of that, and making sure that we still look forward to JJ’s birthday, not just Christmas, helps. Still, it is staggering the difference that everyone pays to the June birthday of his brother. But nothing that I can do about that, we are born when we are born and it is just another factor that makes us who we are.

And just for fun *heh* our first was born about a year and a half after we married, second 18 months later and now after 10 years of marriage, #3 will be here in April… so much for planning anything… either we were too young or we are now too old, what do they know? Blessed all around, just the same.

heather’s last blog post..Impatiently Paitent

I totally agree; hubs and I married straight out of college. We did wait, not because of financial concerns (not what drives us) but because he had 5 years to serve in the Navy. Military life is tough on families and we were young enough to gamble with waiting.

Once he was done, we had 3 in 4.5 years. {!}

Every child is a blessing and should be treated as such, not as a financial burden. But if you feel you need to wait before having children, you shouldn’t be judged. Nor should you be judged if you have a “honeymoon” baby.

Well-written!

Lisa’s last blog post..How we are “catching up” on the AO curriculum

Well, that certainly wasn’t the right time. I would have considered it to be extremely dangerous and childish to risk it.

Fast forward 4 years later when I’m able to adjust my work load to get away from the chemicals…and then it ends up taking 1.5 years to get pregnant.

My best friend said “since it was so hard for you the first time, you probably don’t have to worry about birth control”, um, not playing that game.

I guess I feel that we are given a brain to think for ourselves. By no means do I think that you need to have X, Y, and Z before having a baby. I think that it will depend on the person, and that a roof, food, clothing, and health insurance are basically all you need to provide.

If you are on welfare, then you shouldn’t be having more kids. But if you are self-supporting, even if it’s a very “modest” lifestyle, then it’s completely your decision.

I’m an atheist, so “god’s will” never entered the equation for me.