May 20 2008

Somewhere, beyond the sea

We’re back in Pittsburgh after an eventful trip to Fort Myers, Fla. We had a good time and will have plenty of good memories from that trip.

One small mishap that I have to share:

On the morning of Shane’s and my first wedding anniversary, we went to the beach to swim. We were enjoying the waves, even though they were frequent and quite strong. Tossed some footballs, Frisbees, etc.

Then, Shane said something to the effect of, “Oh, crap!”

I thought that maybe he had lost a contact lens or stepped on a sharp shell. Instead, what he said next gave me a horrible sinking feeling.

He lost his wedding ring.

Slipped right off his finger! We frantically searched for it, but the water wasn’t clear, and the waves were so strong that as soon as we found an object, we got knocked around so we couldn’t get it.
We spent probably an hour, hoping and praying that one of us would happen to find it. We came back later and looked through the shells that had washed up.

I don’t know why anyone would ever try to find a needle in a haystack, but that’s what it felt like we were doing: Trying to find a tiny, shiny object in an ever-moving ocean. It could have been instantly buried under a layer of sand, it could have gotten caught inside a shell, it could have washed ashore or drifted off to sea.

Even though it’s just an object, its one of the few possessions we have that have real sentimental value. It was upsetting, as you’d imagine.

It’s likely we’ll never see his ring again. I think I’ve heard stories where people lose jewelry, and then it turns up again 50 years later. Anything is possible. I’m going to report it missing to the Fort Myers police in the off chance that some kind person finds it and decides to report it, rather than melt it down or pawn it.

In the meantime, though, we’re getting Shane a new band (in a smaller size, I’m thinking).

I found the exact same ring he lost at It’s a lot more than we originally paid for it–$400. Yikes. Tomorrow, we’ll go to the mall, tell them our sob story, and see if we can get a better deal. As much as I want him to have the same ring, that’s quite a bit of money and more than Shane wants to pay. Still, we can afford it. We have a bit of money left over from the trip, we received some money as an anniversary gift, and some money this blog has earned.

I’m going to shop around, haggle like never before, and pray we can get a good deal.

What would you do in our situation?

23 Responses to “Somewhere, beyond the sea”

  1. The same thing happened to my husband when we were on a canoe trip and because of the rapids, there was no chance of us finding his ring. It was very frustrating and discouraging to both of us and we were going to buy the exact ring again, but found them to be very expensive. My husband was in graduate school at the time so we couldn’t afford it. A few weeks later we were visiting family in San Francisco for a family wedding and he bought a cheap ring from a vendor on the street as a temporary solution. He has worn that ring for 6 years now and we call it his “Six Dollar Ring” but to him it has sentimental value and he doesn’t want to replace it…I’ve suggested getting a new one but he refuses. It’s still silver and has held up the test of time for this long so we’ll see if it can last him another 6+ years.

  2. What a beautiful ring! I wanted to get my husband a nice-looking ring, but his hands are so small we couldn’t find any small enough to fit his fingers. :-( But I guess after hearing your story I guess I’m glad I don’t have to worry about spending a lot of money if we have to replace it!

    I’d probably try to find the same ring if I were you. :-) But I tend to assign sentimental value to patterns and pictures. If you have the money and feel it’s important, I’d say go for it! And next time you’re at the beach, leave the rings in the room. ;-)

    ashley @ twentysixcats’s last blog post..what a weekend!

  3. Hi guys it hurts to read this. I once lost my ring on our 1 year anniversary day, it may sound silly but I felt that my world fall apart. A few hours later a kid found my ring, I was extremely lucky.

    I hope someone will find your ring, maybe there are people with metal detectors there? I cross my fingers for you.

  4. So sorry this happened… sounds like it’s the only thing you can do!

  5. I am so sorry Kacie and Shane! We are in the process of looking at wedding bands ourselves and I would be so upset if my fiancé’s wedding band was lost (he would be too). I definitely recommend looking around…have you looked at or Keep us posted and let us know if we can help!

  6. My husband lost his wedding ring last Christmas Eve, and that certainly was nerve-wracking, too! He was sure he lost it at work, but it showed up in the washing machine two days later. As is evident from these comments, Shane shouldn’t feel too bad- it happens to the best of us!

    Joanna’s last blog post..Thanks, Country Bob!

  7. That’s too bad! In the past year that we have been wearing wedding rings, we’ve had them slip off, fly off, fall off our fingers several times. I’ve found that my finger size is very different during different seasons, so what fit when I first got my ring is loose during other parts of the year. Try – we’ve had great experiences buying rings (and a replacement ring) there.

    ladygoat’s last blog post..Conspiracy Theory

  8. We had that same thing happen last summer, I was so upset. We spent so long trying to find it, but we ended up getting his replacement (yes, much smaller than the first) from It cost us a fraction of the mall stores and we had it engraved with the same note.
    Thats where we bought his original ring from as well.
    Now when we go to the beach he is EXTRA careful!!

    Dirkey’s last blog post..Beets Beets Good for your Heart Beets Beets they make you…

  9. My brother lost his in the bay, and found it!!
    They used a metal detector covered in a trash bag and sifted out buckets of sand, but they found it!

    Dirkey’s last blog post..Beets Beets Good for your Heart Beets Beets they make you…

  10. :( I’m just sorry, that’s so sad!

    Tenille’s last blog post..Buy Fresh Buy Local

  11. I am SO sorry Kacie! That stinks. I would explain the situation and hopefully they can give you a good discount.

    Erin’s last blog post..Don’t Bail on Your 401k

  12. I think I would cry!

    Shane’s ring looks a lot like my husband’s ring. Luckily, my husband has thin fingers and big knuckles, so his ring is very unlikely to fall off.

    I do worry about mine, though, especially when we’re boating or around any type of murky water. Speaking of which, we’re going backpacking over Memorial weekend. Now I’m getting paranoid. Maybe I should leave my ring at home!

  13. i’m sorry you guys! i have no tips: it seems like you’ve got it under control. Just remember: it’s not the ring that counts. (Even though it feels like it does.)

    jessica @pianomomsicle’s last blog post..Monday’s chore list

  14. Awe :-(
    Thats so sad! I would be upset to….
    Hopefully they will give you some sort of discount.

  15. Thanks for your kind words, everyone! It really does stink, but I have to remind myself that things could always be much worse. Losing a ring seems trivial compared to all that’s going on in the world.

    Anyway, thanks for the website suggestions. I’m checking them out, and we’re going to the mall later today.

    Looks like the price the mall folk have to beat is under $300. We’ll see what happens!

  16. How awful for that to happen on your anniversary. I would definitely get the replacement [but try to find it at discount jewelers online as others have suggested]. Maybe you could renew your vows to each other once you receive the replacement so that you could create some new sentimental value to attach to the new ring.

  17. ALSO–since losing rings in water (or wherever) seems like it happens to quite a few people, please remember my story when you’re out in the water. I don’t want you to lose your rings!

  18. That stinks, I feel your pain! I lost mine rafting down a river a couple years ago. The cold water shrinks your fingers and off it slips.

    I bought a somewhat cheaper ring and had my finger properly sized so it would not happen again!

    Kyle @ Rather-Be-Shopping’s last blog post..Barack Obama Endorses Frugal Living

  19. I’m pretty sure I would cry HARD. the wedding bands my husband and I use were my parents. My father died when I was in high school so to me, my husband wearing his ring is as close as it will get to them meeting this side of Heaven.

    I know it’s just a ring, but there is so much sentimental value to them. I recently had to take mine off cuz of pregnancy weight… and I feel naked!

  20. Last summer my husband lost his ring at the lake. We were a sight to see all four adults sifting around trying to find it. We actually still have not replaced it. He has really large hands so it is going to be expensive. We have been holding off because we are going to visit family in June and my sister’s husband’s family owns a jewelery store, so I am hoping they can hook us up.

    Sharon’s last blog post..Florida Pie

  21. I’m so sorry to hear about the lost ring. My husband also lost his some time in the last couple of years. He had been sick and had lost a bunch of weight, so the ring was loose. It just came off as he was walking along the street and he didn’t notice it until he got back to the office.

    We went back and looked, but didn’t find it. So he went back to the jeweller we bought our wedding bands from and bought another one. I think it was between $100 and $200, just a very simple plain band.

    It certainly seems like it happens to a lot of people. Very sad, it’s probably one of the most sentimental items people have.

  22. You might want to try Etsy to see if anything meets your needs. I just did a quick search, and redcatrun has some nice choices and will do custom work. I am not sure how detailed your husband’s band was.

    I guess we are fortunate – my best friend from high school was a jeweler at the time. My one request for the whole wedding was for him to make our rings. He made our bands as a wedding present, and still has the molds. He is no longer in the business of making jewelry, or I would offer to put you in contact with him!

    moneyloveandchange’s last blog post..Stay-at-home mom salary projections

  23. One of my friends did that on his honeymoon last summer, I think it was a lake. And my mom had her engagement ring fly off once when she was clapping about something. The latter was in our house about 20 years ago…so we still keep our eyes open. ;)

    I’ve developed a habit of leaving them home if I’m really worried or putting them on a necklace. But then mine are uber-tight too.

    As far as replacing it goes, does he want the exact same one? If not, you can shop around for deals, but I understand the sentimental value. Mine’s so plain that I think as long as the shade of white gold was the same I could replace it with almost any plain ring.

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Hey! I'm Kacie, wife to Shane and mother to Jonathan (7), Vivienne (5) and Amelia (2) . I write about my family's finance: how we save money, improve our spending, and plan for the future.

I hope I can inspire and encourage you to improve your situation. See disclosure.

I'm adopting a much slower-paced posting schedule, and treating this as a hobby blog now.

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